Uncle Rico's Time Machine: September 2007

Sunday, September 30, 2007

the wackiest of wacky weeks in pictures

nothing makes sense anymore.

which week will be the last week we see this man as an aggie??

how far does the winless streak extend?? 6?? 8??

clemson leaves bc as the only quality team in the acc

[name redacted] proving to be a real pain in the ass of a horrible big 10

rutgers provides more big east gayness

great game between 2 good teams that still have to play usc

viva los bulls!!! best in the big east??

this isn't intramurals brother!!

part II of the red river meltdown

the tigahs played like a team wearing really gay uniforms

does anyone want to win it all???

this pic says it all...an offensive player looking like a bitch

i like to think byrum is saying "fuck you AND your time outs!!"

Friday, September 28, 2007

too soon??

for some reason this thing has cracked me up all 20 times i've watched it so far.

what's the over/under on the tomahawk chop???

even the '85 bears think this is gay
the bama nation has been getting a lot of shit this week in the blogosphere...even more than usual. it appears that everyone seems to think that bama nation was expecting 12-0 this year. well maybe i shouldn't speak for the rest of my fan base, but my goal was 8 wins and hopefully a bowl win. to say the tide played inconsistently against uga (and arkansas for that matter) would be putting it mildly. however, there were definitely flashes of greatness.

moving on to this week, i fear this game. florida state has shown me absolutely nothing this year, yet i just don't have a very good feeling about it. i mean these guys always recruit well, they have household names all over the field, yet they just can't seem to put it together...especially on offense (whatcha got jimbo). obviously the subplots in this game (bowden/bama, saban/jimbo, saban/bowden, steele/bowden, etc) have been beaten to death, but it will be interesting to see if any of them do actually play a role in the outcome. i will also be highly upset if geno "don't tase me bro" hayes has any impact on the game as his ass should be watching from the sidelines, instead of second string. i'm expecting big things from the likes of rolando mcclain and wallace gilberry against this weak o-line. i'm also expecting a big game from terry grant, who despite averaging over 7 yards a carry through 2.5 quarters last week, didn't see the ball late in the game. this should be an interesting one.

prediction: bama - 31 'noles - 20

hawaiian shirt day at del boca vista

Thursday, September 27, 2007

gundy does not dig the "pbr"

pumpkin eaters

the boys over at cool chicken (a cocks blog), think the tigahs are a bunch of dirty, rotten, cheaters...and they've got the video to prove it.

HT: loser with socks

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

a lesson he'll never forget

apparently bobby bowden, in his infinite wisdom, has chosen to once again prove that he rules with an iron fist. geno hayes (the nole's leading tackler mind you), who is facing three misdemeanor charges stemming from and altercation outside a tallahassee bar last week, has been reinstated. however, not so you think he is being coddled, he has been cruelly demoted all the way down to the second team. so in summary, geno hayes was literally suspended for the seminole's bye week. go ahead a let that one sink in for a minute. and while we're at it, how can hayes be charged with "resisting arrest without violence" when he had to be tasered in order to be subdued??? how bizzah.

"aawww hail 'bandit'...you know boys'll be boys."

you can't be a pussy and be a pirate

i have been looking for this ever since i first heard it on sunday. while everyone else was focused on mike gundy and his perfectly gelled visor hair, mike leach was busy performing one of the better post game undressings you'll hear. my personal favorite line is "they think concerned expressions are a replacement for fast legs, low pads, and determined effort." i love this man and i feel he needs a job at a bigger program, so as to increase the frequency of gold like this. yarrr.

yarrrr...no whiney expressions allowed.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

it's florida state week fool!!

sometimes a picture really is worth 1000 words
-i wasn't really a mike shula hater like much of the bama nation. the guy took a job that nobody wanted and did at least an average job. not that i would trade the saban for him, but at the time i felt he deserved one more year to try to right the ship. shula's o-coordinator dave rader takes time off from selling insurance or some shit to tell how much shula got the shaft from alabama.

-a pretty interesting look at the incestuous world that is college football coaching. the tide and the seminoles are probably much more intertwined than you could imagine. not the least of which is the fact that big andre apparently almost went to florida state. i saw on another site that terry grant was heavily recruited by the 'noles, and that during his recruitment bobby bowden couldn't for the life of him remember terry's name despite numerous encounters. basically referring to him as "that fast kid from mississippi."

-a story about how close bobby bowden came to being the coach at alabama, but the tide ended up going with bill curry's bitch ass. i certainly could have done without curry, but i would have hated to have never had geno. who knows what might have been. (this "what if" scenerio is dedicated to lsujoshua and his love for the hypothetical)

...just because

SHIT!

look i'm not giving up on these guys yet, but shit, its really starting to feel like the "bad old days."

are you serious??

yes the tigahs will be wearing these on saturday. look, lord knows i support the cause (katrina relief), but couldn't you have a bake sale?? or maybe a car wash?? or maybe just sell something less ugly??? i mean come on...lsu fans can't even like these can they??? click here for the rest of the pics.

Monday, September 24, 2007

C'MON BOYS!!!

how about if you show up on both sides of the ball tonight?? i'd like to see a little more this......so i don't have to look at this......and for that to happen there HAS to be a lot more of this.

UNCLE RICO'S BASEBALL LESSONS

Lesson 1 - How to take a brushback pitch.
A) Narrowly avoid brushback pitch by leaning out of way
B) Stare at pitcher as if to say "You're lucky I'm not on my way out there to whip your sorry ass!!"
C) Smoke the next pitch for a bomb to dead centerfield.
D) Stand at home plate and admire your work. Flip the bat as you trot off to show up the sorry ass pitcher who almost hit you.

Watch closely as Vlad demonstrates this perfectly. The 6:00 to 4:00 marks are all you need to see for this lesson. However - feel free to watch the rest for more entertainment. This pitcher is lucky the crazy dominican didn't rip his arms out of their sockets.

monday quick hits

obc to big white hat: "you sneaky motherfucker you!"
-the only thing that makes steve spurrier happier than pissing in the woods at augusta is fucking around with quarterbacks. therefore, chris smelley is the new starter for da cocks. insert "smelley cock" joke here.

-yarrrr...apparently mike leach demands you at least get in the way of the guy with the ball if not tackle him. as a result, lyle setencich is no longer the defensive coordinator of the pirates. yarrrr.

-you can't just tear someone a new asshole in front of 50 microphones and cameras and not get any shit for it. so today the backlash from mike gundy losing his shit continues. who new a game between two mediocre teams with no defense could make so many headlines.

-how hot is the hot seat under coach fran teets?? apparently not as hot as some would like. the ags better beat the shit out of baylor this week or the hot seat will be a hot poker in the corn hole.

-the story that wouldn't go away. if/when the big white hat leaves...who takes his place? here are some candidates. let's just say that certain names on this list make me very happy.

-tomahawk nation seems psyched up about facing bama this week. they start their monday off by answering a few quick questions about the matchup.

a merely slightly wacky week in pictures

"its ok baby...we've got baylor next week"

could the big east be any gayer??

"defense is for pussies...yarrrr"

apparently the big tweleven is pretty gay too

another saturday's worth of sucktitude

the gators were skeered

not overly impressive...but another win is another win

i think this pretty much sums it up

Sunday, September 23, 2007

bonus you tubeage due to a heaping helping of insanity yesterday

-mike patrick proving he should be fired

props to blackledge for making him look like the fucking idiot he is
-mike gundy chewing some media ass and standing up for his player

check out the article in question here.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

bama vs. uga post game analysis

Friday, September 21, 2007

hunker down you hairy dawgs

i'll be honest, i think uga is a really tough team to read right now. i was initially impressed when they spanked okie state...but then the pokes promptly got their ass beat by freakin' troy. i also don't think uga is as bad as they looked against da cocks two weeks ago. bama's biggest problem is they are ripe for the letdown...and let it be known that i'm terrified of that fact. however, if any coach can mind fuck a team into thinking they're not worthy of the praise they are receiving it is the saban. also, with the espn night game, and the gameday crew on campus, it should be a rowdy crowd. i don't see either team lighting up the score board (as bama did last week), although i do fear this knowshon moreno character. he's one slippery little bastard. i think the team that gets the more consistent qb play--i.e. protects the ball--will be the one leading the band at the end of this one. and just for the hell of it...keep your eye on javier arenas...i just have a feeling.

prediction: bama - 24 uga - 20

raise your hand if you're not getting laid this weekend

Thursday, September 20, 2007

mack brown: disciplinarian

6 longhorns arrested since june?? strictly a coincidence. mack brown runs a tight ship and his players know they have to walk the straight and narrow and stay focused or suffer the wrath of the mack. there will be no "horseplay," "lollygagging," and certainly no "grab-assing." check out the longhorn's stone faced focus just before almost getting their asses embarrassed by central florida.

i always feel like...somebody's watchin' meeeee

if you aren't familiar with the back story on this, click here for more info.

fuck you espn

fuck you right in the ear espn. for what seems like 2 weeks now you've been pissing in my cheerios by playing women's world cup matches live from china every god damned morning. often on both espn AND espn 2. how many espn's are there now anyway?? shouldn't they be able to show these games on espn desportes or some shit?? i'm no media expert, but how much have the morning ratings plumetted in the last two weeks?? for god's sake you've got me watching the news in the morning.

and now...in an effort to cleanse your palate of this nonsense...i give you the only redeeming quality "futbol" has to offer...poontang in the stands.

don't cry little aggie

HT: edsbs
if you don't know where this video stems from...check this fucking train wreck out

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

just because

don't ask me how the helmet has a reflection of a stadium on it(HT: tidefans.com)

trying to come up with some hate

so generally speaking, each week leading up to a game i will take the opportunity given to me to bust the balls of that week's opponent. as you may have noticed, its wednesday afternoon and that has yet to happen this week. "WTF gerry?!" well the problem is i do/always have kinda dug uga. i can think of something to hate about most any sec team if i really try, but uga is really in my good graces for some reason. i like their unis/colors. i like sanford stadium..."between the hedges." i like athens. they have a great bar scene and cool people...save for the hippie/widespread panic fan population. i like mark richt and find him to be quite harmless. i like uga the mascot laying on a sack of ice on a hot day. i like watching old footage of herschal walker "goal line stalker" just dominate anyone and everyone in his path. i like all the gorgeous southern belles who choose to matriculate there. and of course probably one of the biggest reasons, is that i don't really know any alumni, therefore i don't have to hear any shit talking. so rock on uga, i hope you lose this week and then feel free to win out the rest of the way.

to make myself feel better i will post a couple of clutch bama performances vs. uga.

jay barker and the last quality kicker bama had michael proctor

mike shula's turn...we hardly knew ye mike

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

justin britt needs a bc powder

as some of you know i was unable to watch the bama/arky game on saturday night due to a wedding, so i may be a little slow on the uptake with some of this stuff (fyi-if you get married on a saturday between september 1 and december 1 you are a fucking asshole). however, some crazy shit that kind of flew under the radar was ernest mitchell cracking justin britt in the noggin with his own helmet. apparently mitchell was already a little tired of britt dominating his ass, so he snagged britt's helmet and cracked him with it. mitchell was of course immediately ejected from the game and via sec rules will have to sit out the first half of of this week's game against kentucky as well. luckily britt wasn't hurt very badly, but this could have been a lot more serious. the fact that it wasn't is probably the only reason that mitchell didn't get more than the standard one game ejection. check it out.

tuesday quick hits

-tom lemming says its not if, but when will nick saban win a national championship. uh oh.

-guess who's the sec freshman of the week for the third straight week. is there a limit on the number of times you can win this thing???

-i may have to start posting this link every week. its coacheshotseat.com, and a couple of coaches are shooting up the list.

-the big white hat is upset with the media, so he's going to "play" dumb. he also says we'll see more of perrilloux in future games. mwah hahahaha.

-the saban is trying to convince me there that there will not be a letdown this week.

-tuberville is trying to trick...new mexico state???

-ted ginn thinks nathan pepper is a fucking idiot.

beware tigahs: he's a sneaky motherfucker.

Monday, September 17, 2007

whoopdy freakin' doo

tuscaloosa has been chosen for the espn college gameday site this week for their game against uga. sounds like the perfect build up to a big fat letdown to me. but then again i'm used to my squad being shaped and molded by inferior coaches. i'm guessing the current head coach will have these boys heads right. we'll see i guess.

"does this hat make me look like an arrogant, unfunny asshole??"

in case you missed it

you're in good hands

obviously we have no way of knowing what the end of the season will bring for the big white hat. however, no matter what he decides, one thing is for sure. the future of lsu football is in good hands. these pictures of ryan perrilloux taught me two things. 1) he likes to completely buck protocol and go with ONE in the pink and TWO in the stink...she will indeed be "shocked" i'm sure. and 2) he has expensive tastes. of course when you are literally printing your own money you can afford moet, excursions, and plenty of bling.