gasoline...i'd like to introduce you to fire. apparently stewart mandel thinks all of tigah nation's hatred for the saban is rooted in...FEAR!!! he even offers proof in the form of amateur psychology. i don't write 'em folks...i just pass 'em along. oh just go read the damn thing.
effective at the end of hoover's run through this year's state playoffs, rush propst is "resigning" (whatever...your ass is fired) as head football coach at hoover high. check the link for all sorts of juicy details including a copy of the settlement, tears being shed, his thoughts on all the criticism he recieves, and his admission of having a love child. you have to watch these videos. just wow.
the year was 2005. the tide was 9-0 and welcoming the 7-1 tigers into bryant-denny. both teams were in the top 10, but bama hadn't been the same since they lost wr tyrone prothro a few weeks earlier. it was 10-10 at the end of regulation, and the tigahs won 16-13 in overtime, blah, blah, blah. that however, was not the real story of the weekend. first, let me start by saying that this year will be the 12th consecutive lsu/bama game i've been to. i haven't had tickets 100% of the time (see this year), but i've been on the scene nonetheless. that being said, as most of you can imagine, i've seen some things.
like many a college student, i spent some time working in a bar in college. at the time it was definitely one of the "cooler" bars in town, and always had a wide array of high quality tuscaloosa poontang to select from. sometime soon after i graduated, this bar was sold to one of the guys that i had worked there with. in typical douche bag fashion, i would always return to my old stomping grounds (and still do) b/c i could drink for free. so in '05, me and my partner in crime in "the road show" dinglewood venture into said bar to consume as much free beer as we can get our hands on. about six of us wander in and order a round of longnecks. we all proceeded to do the prerequisite "pan around the room while sipping your beer to assess poontang/douche bag/music/crowd status of this bar" move. it doesn't take long to notice that this usually target rich environment is running exceptionally low on targets on this night. soon i realize that there is a dude dancing with a dude...and another...AND ANOTHER!!! with a horrified look on my face, i begin to search for answers. i immediately spot a handmade sign on the wall that reads "WELCOME RAGIN' GAY CAJUNS" and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY [name of some homo that i can't recall].]" apparently my former colleague, blinded by profit, had allowed the bar to be overrun by flaming lsu fans. i've never seen 6 dudes walk away from full, free beers so fast in my life. we all laughed, and of course it became the running joke of the weekend, and maybe eased the pain of bama's loss just a little. then, just days later, this little nugget begins to surface all over the internets. good times. here's to bama/lsu '07.
obviously your average, run of the mill tigah fan (as if there was such a thing) will be pulling against the tide on saturday, but there are also plenty of haters that may not come to mind so easily. here are just a few people who will be rooting for the tigahs this saturday, unlikely as they may be. please feel free to suggest more.
mike slive-all he cares about is an sec team (lsu) in the bcs championship game
mike price-there are a few people in alabama he'd like to use that pick ax on
don shula-he hates ua AND saban. he will definitely be wearing his purple and gold "saban is a douche" shirt.
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bill curry-couldn't handle the pressure at alabama, now he spends his days badmouthing the tide
wayne huizenga-bama swiped his coach, and now his team is 0-8
dickie v-i don't even care what this "basketball expert" thinks about basketball, much less football...still funny though
manuel wright-thinks saban is a big meanie.
mattforte25.com is officially up and running. this week the green wave came up one point short to memphis, but it wasn't b/c of a lack of production from matt forte. 44 rushes, 278 yards (6.3 avg), and 2 tds, bringing the season totals to 233 rushes 1539 yards (6.6 avg) and 15 tds. be sure to check out the website and the highlight video below.
-and the first domino falls. smu's phil bennett has been fired. he will coach the final four games of the season, at which point he will be sent packing. who's next???
-apparently the saban and his staff used the bye week to do a little mid-season recruiting. plenty of commentary from "expert" tom lugenbill on how this staff has recruited in its first 10 months.
-i'm sure you've all heard about/seen the bizzaro celebration by uga upon scoring their first td on saturday, but its was so off the wall that i wanted to post it anyway. here is mark richt doing his best trying to explain what the shit was going on.
-uh oh...here we go...apparently les miles is working in "the house that nick built." although mostly true, probably could have been worded differently. oh well...i'm sure this is pretty much how the whole week is going to go.
-glenn guilbeau give a brief overview of the hatred for saban amongst lsu fans, and brings up and interesting point...florida fans don't hate steve spurrier...so what gives tigahs??
-this game doesn't appear to be the slam dunk it was looking like about a month ago for the tigahs.
-more from guilbeau. this time he says that the saban and the white hat may have more in common than either of them would like to think. you be the judge.
-i'll go ahead and be respsonsible and not say anything about "the gambler" perrilloux until more is revealed since there are about 946 different variations of what happened.
well its finally here...the week many of us have been waiting for since january 3, 2007. bama appears to be about an 8 point dog at home, but that won't take away from the piss and venom that go along with this matchup. i myself will be heading to t-town at the ass crack on friday morning (without a ticket, so hook a brotha up), so it will be a short week of posting. for good reason i won't be talking any shit this week, but i will be trying to take a look at the lighter side of the idiocy surrounding the game.
so my tv is on espn late last night, and i was in the other room. all of a sudden, i hear a bunch of screaming on the tv. so i run in there and this is what i see.
from the same man who begged, and pleaded, and sobbed for you to leave coach fran alone.
uncle rico has decided to use his time machine for good (or evil depending on how you look at it), has traveled ahead to sunday morning, and knows the outcome of all of this week's college football games. not unlike biff tannen, he is willing to provide you with said information in an effort to make you all very rich. here are the games of interest against the spread.
SEC: (favorites on the left, home team in all caps, my pick in red)
AUBURN 17.5 ole miss
auburn seems to like to play to their competition, and ole miss has played most teams close. the rebels keep it interesting, so i like ole miss and the points
FLORIDA 7.5 uga (jacksonville)
florida rolls. uga is banged up, and i wouldn't take them even if they were healthy
KENTUCKY 13.5 state
the bulldogs just won't be able to keep pace with the wildcat offense
TENNESSEE 2.5 south carolina
both teams looked pretty bad last week, i like the cocks to bounce back and to further fuel the "fire fulmer" faction
OTHER GAMES OF INTEREST:
south florida 4.5 UCONN
uconn stole one from the football gods last week, and they pay for it this week
kansas 3 TEXAS A&M
the aggies will keep it close at home, but not close enough
OREGON 2.5 usc
dennis dixon, autzen stadium, and usc turnovers prove too much to overcome
wvu 6 RUTGERS
wvu has too much fire power for ray rice to overcome by himself
ARIZONA ST. 3 cal
tedford won't let them bears lose three in a row, and its about time the sun devils came back down to earth
ohio state 3 PENN STATE
unfortunately i think the fuckeyes stay undefeated here
now go sell something and put the money on these picks.
bear bryant. civil rights activist?? or a man who would do whatever it took to win football games?? who knows. either way he's no martin luther king as pat dye's dumb ass would have you believe. racism, alabama football, sly croom, george wallace, pat dye, john mckay, and cigarette smoking on a football field all in one tiny little package. enjoy.
-this just in!!! brandon lafell has fucking lobster claws for hands!!! and apparently the big white hat has finally noticed. he has implied that demetrius byrd would start in his place, but that lafell would see signicant action. shit i hope so, maybe he can "bump and set" an interception to a bama db next week.
-the bama/lsu hype bandwagon is rolling downhill without any brakes. the tide is doing its best to downplay, but they don't have a snowball's chance. all i can think of is how rarely things actually live up to their hype.
-what is one way les miles could look like less of a dumbass?? how about if terry bowden questions your coaching decisions???
-a look at how much the gators own the dawgs at the "neutral" site cocktail party in jacksonville. i honestly didn't realize it was THIS one sided. seems to me its only a cocktail party for the gators. i don't see things changing much this year.
no words can prepare you for this video.
uncle rico takes a look at the coaches on the chopping block
DEAD MEN WALKING
dennis franchione-you know you're an asshole when you're 6-2 and guaranteed to get fired
bill callahan-you just got rolled by the only other coach on the "dead men walking" list
COULD SAVE THEIR JOB, BUT PROBABLY WON'T 
houston nutt-they've been waiting for this guy to slip up for a looong time. and now his security blanket broyles is gone too.
mike stoops-zero improvement, i really thought this guy was going to do something
lloyd carr-whether he's fired, or resigns, i can't see this guy here next year
phil bennett-i thought he had them moving in the right direction a couple years ago...guess not.
greg robinson-high levels of shitiness
guy morriss-tried to go all mike leach with baylor, but has failed
TRYING REALLY HARD TO GET FIRED
chan gailey-doing less with more as always, could go a long way to save his job by beating uga
phil fulmer-after getting his ass whipped by his two biggest rivals, the rumblings are growing
ed orgeron-solid recruiter, shitty coach. still winless in the sec.
karl dorrell-got rolled by nd and utah, and still has a tough road ahead
tommy bowden-classic second half meltdown in the works, and lost to another coach on this list
gary patterson-in danger of not even getting a bowl bid after having high expectations in a weak conference.
PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE FIRED, BUT WON'T BE
charlie weis-still arrogant despite being responsible for one of the shittiest bcs teams in america
dave wannstedt-this guy has sucked everywhere he's been. maybe its b/c he's at pitt, but i haven't heard much about him getting canned
CANDIDATES-first of all, in the retread world of coaching, all of the above immediately become candidates if/when they get fired...and here are some other names you'll be hearing a lot of.
charlie strong-how is this guy not a head coach already?
rich rodriguez-probably not going anywhere, but who knows?
jeff tedford-may be more willing to leave the more they lose
greg schiano-seems happy in jersey...for some reason
paul johnson-very popular name with an offensive mind
bo pelini-was a hot name even before he came to lsu
chris petersen-was already a hot name before last year's fiesta bowl
jim leavitt-seems content staying at the program he's built from scratch
jim grobe-too laid back for my tastes, but he gets mentioned an awful lot
tyrone nix-south carolina's defensive guru
there will very likely be more designs to come as football season nears. click the shirt to shop.
