Thursday, July 31, 2008

mlb trade deadline insanity

damn! the final 24 hours before the mlb trade deadline officially brought the insanity. i don't remember the last time this many big time names got new addresses. obviously the big tex to anaheim story has already been covered here, but here are 3 other HUGE moves that came down.

-yesterday the yanks fleeced the tigers by giving up kyle farnsworth for pudge rodriguez in an effort to fill the gap left by george posada. what do you know...the yankees need a catcher, they go out and steal one. so shocking.

-in a deal i never saw coming, ken griffey jr. gets dealt to the chi sox for a couple of schmoes, including former ranger nick masset. obviously griffey isn't what he once was, but he's probably a nice guy to have around for a stretch run...especially if the reds are going to pay half his salary.

-with every passing day, it was becoming more evident that the red sox needed to move manny ramirez. he was setting fire to damn near every bridge he had built in boston. that being said, i really didn't think a deal would actually get done. well color me shockered, b/c manram is a dodger. it took a 3 way deal to get it done, but its done. as part of the deal, jason bay (highly underrated) goes from pittsburgh to boston, and the pirates got a big sack of mixed nuts. the fallout?? the dodgers get better, the sox come pretty damn close to breaking even, and the pirates get shittier. thanks for being a pawn in the dodgers and red sox little game...gotta love the pirates.

peace out bahston

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"eff you baby"

i've got nothing sporty this morning, so let's get funny. i've watched this like 20 times now, and it still gets me every time

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

never work with children or animals...

or "adam" jones. i like putting his real name in quotes. yes this is a real commercial.

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rent-a-first baseman moves on...again

douchey mark teixeira and his douchey agent are taking their traveling baseball show to socal. somewhere rangers gm jon daniels is laughing his ass off as big tex packs his bags for the second straight trade deadline. i think most of ranger nation was happy with the teixeira trade as soon as it happened, but a year later i can't see how any ranger fan could NOT be happy with it. recently cj wilson came out and said, without naming names, that a big reason for the rangers great chemistry and improved baseball was the fact that they got rid two huge debbie downers. wilson went on to list all of the guys that have left in the last 2 years that he liked and missed, and there were only 2 people he didn't name...buck showalter and mark teixeira. as for the third team in this situation, the rich get richer. the angels were going to run away with the al west anyway, so they are simply loading up to try to win the whole damn thing this year. so let's take a look at how things have ended up after everything shakes out.

angels (66-40)
-1b mark teixeira-(28 years old, .283 20 hr 70 rbi's)

braves (49-57)
-1b casey kotchman-(25 years old, .287 12 hr 54 rbi's)
-p stephen marek-(24 years old, 2-6 3.66 era in double-a)

rangers (55-52)
-c/1b jarrod saltalamacchia-(23 years old, .232 3 hr 24 rbi's in part time role in the bigs)
-ss elvis andrus-(19 years old, .293 3 hr 47 rbi's 43 sb's in 86 double-a games)
-p matt harrison-(22 years old, 3-2 with a no hitter in double-a, 2-1 in the bigs)
-p neftali feliz-(20 years old, 2.52 era, 106-28 k/bb ratio in high-a, 4-0 2.21 era 21-7 k/bb ratio in double-a, and fairly routinely hits 100 mph on the gun)
-p beau jones-(21 years old, 2.93 era in high-a ball, and was just promoted to double-a)

so who would you want to be? well obviously you would want to be the angels, b/c they'll be playing meaningful baseball in october...but in terms of these transactions, the rangers come out on top. to the braves credit, i do think kotchman is a stud, and is a nice piece of the puzzle. so there are really only two questions remaining: will it pay off for the angels in the form of a championship?? and who the hell will want to/be able to sign this asshole after the season?? when all is said and done, the bottom line is teixeira and his agent are highly douchey as mentioned in the very first sentence.

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

i just found out i'm scared to live in the same city as...

...tank johnson.

for halloween the boogey man dresses up as tank johnson

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crimson and white roundtable: workin' in some eye candy edition

this week's roundtable is brought to you by the tide druid.

1) Complete this sentence: Alabama’s biggest improvement from the 2007 season will be __________.

consistency. after cleansing many of the attitude problems (some through graduation, some through "natural selection"), and another year under the saban, i'm expecting more complete 4 quarter performances. with every loss being by 7 points or less last year, a little more consistency would have gone a loooooong way.

2) Who will be the unsung hero of the 2008 Crimson Tide? This is a player that hasn’t received any pre-season attention, nor will he receive any post-season attention from the media. Yet without his presence, the Tide would be lost.

i'm going to stick with an answer i've been giving much of the summer, and that is lb eryk anders. the numbers alone dictate that he's going to play, and he looked pretty solid in the spring game. i feel like he's a guy who may not put up gaudy numbers, but will log a lot of very valuable playing time given the situation at his position.

i've been hyping you up all summer bro, don't let me down

3) This is a rather vague question considering we haven’t even started fall practice, but what bowl game some we expect for this Alabama team?

peach bowl. not a whole lot of logic here other than this bowl tends to go to an sec team that is caught somewhere between the middle of the pack and the league leaders, which is where i'm expecting bama to finish the year.

4) This next one has to do with the recent hub-bub over the sabbatical Kenny Stabler is taking from the radio broadcast. I would like you to pick your ultimate Alabama football radio broadcast team. Pick an announcer, color analyst, a sideline reporter or two, and anything else you’d like to add.

i am the wrong dude to pose this question to. unlike most football fans, i really could care less about the voices doing the broadcast of a game. the only way i really even notice who is calling a game is when they are completely horrible (see bryant gumble). that being said, i'll definitely keep eli gold around as his voice is basically a tradition at this point. i do like my sideline reporters to be hot though. so until i can think of somebody better (younger), we're going to have to bring jill arrington back. will she add any real "substance" to the broadcast?? probably not...but who really does?? maybe ms. ines sainz will trade out covering futbol for football.

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Monday, July 28, 2008

monday quick hits: let's review

-as a blog that tries to follow the "ask and ye shall receive" doctrine, i will start off by giving a recap of the gavin degraw show. look, the dude is really talented, and i can appreciate that. he plays a helluva piano, an average guitar, and is a helluva singer. i would also guess that he plays one helluva skin flute. if he doesn't, he is missing a great opportunity cuz dude comes off as gaaaaaaaayyyyy. his little dance moves and hand gestures were more than a little fruity. not to mention the fact that he is apparently very successful at attracting the gay. the breakdown of the crowd: 50% chicks screaming like the new kids were in town (though many of them were in fact hot), 30% gay dudes who were dancing just like gavin, 19% beaten down boyfriends like myself, and 1% butch lesbos. not sure how the lesbos figured in (unless they were checking out the hot chicks like me), but i saw more than a couple. all in all, in terms of being drug to a concert by the lady friend, i will label this one as "tolerable but gay."

-in other gay news, dan uggla likes slidell boy mike fontenot's ass

-are you watching "generation kill" on hbo?? why not?? you should be. it's a 7 part miniseries that tells the story of the 1st recon battalion through the first 40 days of the iraqi war. the word is that this is painfully accurate as a few members of the first battalion acted as consultants on the production. i've heard from many people who served in iraq that this thing is pretty damn true to life. it portrays the american military (particularly the usmc) as young, horny, racist, copenhagen dipping maniacs who are being both confused and handcuffed by miles and miles of red tape and bureaucracy. 3 of 7 parts have already aired, but if you're interested in getting caught up, the first 3 air back to back tomorrow night on hbo. do yourself a kicks ass.

-i am now about 10 days and 2 weekends into my quest to drink american. i have coincidentally had 2 pretty low key weekends since the quest began...i.e. not a huge amount of booze consumption. in that time i have had only 1 bud light, and a handful of shiner lights. one thing that did not consider when considering my options 10 days ago was bourbon. i love me some bourbon, and bourbon is as american as booze gets. so in addition to test driving any number of truly american beers, i just might have to increase my maker's mark and buffalo trace (generally my brands of choice) consumption.

-just as sec media days triggers the start of cfb fever, nfl training camps are in full swing. damn i can't wait for football to start.

your two newest saints

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sec media days day 3: can we start practicing yet??

steve spurrier was made for media days. he should be forced to speak at all 3 days. even when he's being serious, he cracks my shit up. this year was no exception as he had a couple dynamite answers including comparing recruiting to gettin' yourself a lady. lest you think it was all fun, rich brooks managed to come in and bring the room down as he always does. bobby petrino made his sec debut, and was as political as ever. are tommy tuberville's ears getting bigger?? gravity is a bitch ain't it?? generic video follows:

with sec media days, comes predictions. i hate predictions, but i guess they're worth noting. first, the media's predictions.

SEC Champion - Florida (36), Georgia (18), Auburn (13), LSU (1), Tennessee (1), Ole Miss (1).

1. Florida (45) 98
2. Georgia (23) 121
3. Tennessee (2) 222
4. South Carolina 266
5. Kentucky 356
6. Vanderbilt 407

1. Auburn (48) 99
2. LSU (21) 120
3. Alabama 228
4. Mississippi State 299
5. Ole Miss (1) 338
6. Arkansas 386

-and now, the fans' predicions via voting on

Team..................Points .....1st.....2nd .....3rd
1. Georgia ........28,009 ....64% ....31% ......4%
2. Florida ..........26,159 ....32% ....58% ......8%
3. Tennessee ....19,096 .......*.........8% .....62%
4. S. Carolina ....16,098 .......* ........* ........23%
5. Kentucky .........9,936 .......* ........* ..........*
6. Vanderbilt ........6,353 .......* ........* ..........*

Team..................Points .....1st.....2nd .....3rd
1. LSU ..............25,604 ....28% ....57% ....12%
2. Auburn ..........24,879 ....44% ....22% ....25%
3. Alabama .......21,346 ....27%.....16% ....26%
4. Miss. St. ........13,542 ........* ........* .......20%
5. Arkansas .......11,131 ........* ........* .......11%
6. Ole Miss...........9,149 ........* ........* .........7%

Who will win the SEC title game?

SEC West champ: 60%
SEC East champ: 40%

Auburn ......31%
Georgia ......28%
Alabama ....18%
Florida ........11%
LSU ............11%
Others ..........1%

despite all of this insightful information, they have decided to play out the season anyway.

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

hell on earth

7 day forecast for dfw starting today

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Friday, July 25, 2008

i don't wanna be anything other than what i've been tryin' to be lately

in the interest of full disclosure, i will grow a little gayer tonight. i will be accompanying the lady friend to a fucking gavin degraw concert. hey, sometimes she has to watch the college world series for 10 straight nights...or a "deadliest catch" marathon...or the abortion that is the rangers bullpen...and sometimes i have to go to gavin degraw. don't worry, you won't get sent into your weekend with gavin degraw you tubeage. instead, you will have your face rocked off by two bands who are forming possibly the ungayest concert ever (which also happens to be in dallas tonight)...slipknot and disturbed.

though i'm not a huge fan of slipknot, i do dig this tune, "duality."

next, disturbed. i am a huge fan of disturbed and my ipod is saturated with them. that being the case, i was having trouble deciding which offering to bring you, so i decided to just go with their latest, "inside the fire."

have a good weekend kids. i will...once 11pm tonight rolls around.

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sec media days day 3: the homestretch

as predicted here yesterday morning, the crazy was dramatically ramped up yesterday at sec media days. ironically is was not as a result of the saban, the nutt, any of the attending players, or phil (at least not directly). no the crazy was brought to you by the law firm of dewey, cheatham, and howe (ZING!!) first off, before the uninformed start to run their mouth, this thing has very little, to nothing to do with alabama other than originally stemming from the whole phat phil/bama/albert means thing back in the day. you can take a look at a copy of the subpoena here. most interesting part of the subpoena?? fulmer's address being listed as the birmingham galleria. which leads me to believe you can go to any establishment in the food court, as well as any establishment for mid-mall snacking (mrs. field's, orange julius, auntie anne's pretzels , etc), and order the "phil fulmer" and they will know exactly what you're talking about (LOOKOUT!!).

super generic highlights from day 2.

here's the day 3 schedule. still a good chance for crazy, but good luck matching yesterday.

tommy tuberville
c jason bosley
de sen'derrick marks

rich brooks
de jeremy jarmon
wr dicky lyons jr

bobby petrino
lb elston forte
c jonathan luigs

the cocks
steve spurrier
lb jasper brinkley
wr kenny mckinley

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

some random ass quick hits

-in a case of getting fucked by bureaucracy really, really hard, caleb campbell has been called back into military service on the brink of starting training camp. you may remember campbell as the army football player who was drafted by the detroit lions. look, i don't even have a problem with the army not letting him go to the nfl, he made a committment to them and he should fulfill it. i'm even ok with them changing their policy on the fly probably as a result of campbell. however, you can't change the rules in the middle of the damn game. if the policy was f'ed up than you consider campbell the one that got away and you enforce the policy from that moment forward. here's to hoping campbell gets another shot at the nfl.

-marques colston and the saints agreed to a 3 year extension yesterday. the terms were not disclosed, but whatever they are, the dudes deserves it. in his first 2 seasons colston has 168 receptions for 2,240 yards and 19 touchdowns and was scheduled to make only 445k this year.

-josh childress succombs to opposite day and agrees to leave the nba to play overseas in greece. childress signs a deal for 3 years and $20 million...guaranteed...after taxes. nice contract. hey, more power to you bro. you weren't going to get that kind of money over here.

-and finally, today is the 25th anniversary of one of my favorite mlb moments of all time...the george brett pine tar home run. shockingly i cannot find any video of this incident, but it should nonetheless be celebrated.

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sec media days day 2

day 1 is in the books without too much flash or controversy. les says he was simply joking (he's so funny) with supporters in regards to his funny little louisiana/alabama comment. les also insists they're not "defending" the bcs trophy...i'm not sure i follow. sly croom apparently referenced his playing days at alabama no less than 8 times...whatever that means. here are a few super generic highlights from the day.

the crazy gets ramped up a bit today with the appearance of the saban, the nutt, and the phat man.

bama - 8:40-10:40
nick saban
ol antoine caldwell
S rashad johnson

uga - 8:40-10:40
mark richt
wr mohamed massaquoi
dl jeff owens

ole miss - 10:40-12:30
houston nutt
dl peria jerry
ol michael oher

tennessee - 10:40-12:30
phillip fulmer
rb arian foster
de robert ayers

the saban loves him some quality time with the media

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

sec media days day 1: foreplay edition

let the foreplay begin. today is the day that my mistress (sec football) and i start to get a little touchy-feely in preparation for our 4 month roll in the hay. sec media days kicks off today from the wynfrey hotel in birmingham. things we will learn today: how many times will tebow invoke the lord? how many cliches can urban meyer sling? what kind of checks will the big white hat's mouth write? and will sly croom serenade us with any barry white tunes? you can check out the full 3 day schedule here. what i find humorous while checking out the schedule is the fact that it appears that they made a genuine effort to evenly distribute the crazy over the three day event. here is today's schedule:

florida - 1:10-3:10
-urban meyer
-qb tim tebow
-ol phil rautwein

mississippi state - 1:10-3:10
-sly croom
-qb wesley carroll
-lb jamar chaney

lsu - 3:10-5:10
-les miles
-ol brett helms
-de tyson jackson

vanderbilt - 3:10-5:10
-bobby johnson
-db reshard langford
-wr george smith

practicing the bullshit they're gonna sling

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you take care of yourself now south texas

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

crimson and white roundtable: "football + booze = happy" edition

this week, the man known simply as picture me rollin' has put twist on the roundtable by shifting the focus from x's and o's to the gameday experience. i commend are my answers.

1. Given your preference, do you choose the watch the game on television or in-person and why?

the one good thing about being a long distance bama fan is that so many of their meaningful games end up being televised, but given my preference i'm going to be in the stadium every time. however, my opinion is biased since i only get to make about one game in t'town a year. at the risk of stating the obvious, the in stadium experience can never be duplicated at home, but its more than that. its the atmosphere that surrounds the game as well...the bars on friday night, hitting the quad on saturday morning with a kickin' hangover, the audio/video just before kickoff...i love it all. there is, however, one major downside to attending a game in person, and that is missing all the other games on tv. between the tailgate hopping, the booze consumption, and not spending my time in front of a tv, i frequently leave a game having no idea what has happened across the cfb landscape.

2. As far as going to the game, do you prefer very comfortable or really sharp, in your attire?

there are two things that make me feel very strongly about the douchiness of getting all dressed up to go to a sporting event. 1) i was a proud gdi in while in t'town, so i spent a fair amount of my time pointing and laughing at the idiocy of the greek section. and 2) i now live in dallas where people go ahead and dress super douchey for mavs and/or stars games so they don't have to change before they go to ghostbar or some other ass clown convention. so to answer the original question more simply...comfortable.

you true tuscaloosa peeps know exactly what that is on the left

3. What your favorite gameday recipe or alternately, it’s just not tailgating without…

i'm a simple man. my tailgate needs beer...and that's really about it. would i like food?? well hell yeah, but if its not something i can bring that's "ready to eat" or unable to be cooked on a grill, its probably too high maintenance. i realize there is an unspoken "tailgating competition" happening on most college campuses, so i'll leave that to you. i'll come by and pull a hit and run on your jambalaya, slow smoked brisket, and 7 layer dip, and then i'll go back to drinking my hangover away.

4. What is your drop-dead have to be in your seat time?

kickoff. this is not just an alabama football thing, this is a universal rule. kickoff, tipoff, first pitch, the puck dropping, or whatever, i had better be there. i have gotten in to more heated conversations with friends over this than i can begin to count.

5. Is there any paraphernalia you have to take in the game with you?

again...a simple man. my ticket and hopefully a little bourbon, that's all i need.

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the 2nd place texas rangers

look, ranger fans don't get a chance to say that very often, so it had to be said. the rangers get another victory and solid pitching performance from young scooter feldman. they also get dingers from josh hamilton (and 3 more ribby's) and long lost hank "the tank" blalock. the rangers are only 5.5 games out of the wild card, the problem is the yankees and red sox are ahead of them. just do the best you can kids.

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Monday, July 21, 2008

get excited french quarter!!!

it is being widely reported that the saints have sent a 2nd and a 5th rounder to the giants for te jeremy shockey. the deal would be pending league approval and a physical. i can't say i'm on board with this trade. obviously shockey will have all the opportunity in the world to win me over, but upon first look, i don't like it. shockey is a "me first" douche who for all i can tell is a locker room cancer, and all this for a team who theoretically has no shortage of offensive weapons. so new orleans, your douchiness just went up...congrats.

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monday morning quick hits: now with more you tube!

-the first tigerless major is in the books, and man was it wheels off. the wind, the rain, the temperatures, the course...all brutal. this edition of the open further solidified two long standing truths in this world: 1) greg norman is possibly the greatest choker of his generation. this weekend was the 8th time he has entered the final round of a major with the lead, and has won all of 1. he's the anti-tiger. and 2) you're never going to win a damn thing if you're wearing pink pants.

-a few years ago i was hanging with this dude i know that is all into to muay thai. he used to tell me that this cat fedor emelianenko was the baddest man on the planet. well as a casual mma fan i didn't even know who the dude was at the time b/c he had done most of his ass kicking overseas as a part of pride fighting. well over the last few years i did my homework and found that fedor was indeed arguably the baddest man on the planet. well on saturday night he brought his game to america as part of the affliction: banned pay per view. fedor took on former ufc heavyweight champ tim sylvia and did not disappoint. you can watch the entire fight (yes the entire fight) in the 42 second video below.

-the rangers (or the triple-a all stars as i like to call them) narrowly avoid getting swept in minnesota this weekend. the rangers got a stellar pitching performance from padilla, and yet another huge moment from a dude making his major league debut. taylor teagarden goes yard for his first major league hit to break up a perfect game and it turns out to be the game winning hit as the rangers win 1-0.

-mere hours after redskins de phillip daniels tears his acl, effectively ending his season, they trade for jason taylor. i guess everyone is happy now right??

-i don't like to toss around the c word very often, but danica patrick is one. i always hate it when she gets in guys faces b/c they can't knock her ass out like she deserves. so i was truly disappointed to find that she got in the face of the only other female in indy racing, and didn't get her eye dotted. as a bonus, the other driver is milka duno, whom in addition to danica, you would also nail.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

start your weekend early...b/c you know its not gonna last

well its time for yet another smokin' hot, yet beautiful weekend here in the big d. no big plans for me...maybe catch some rays...maybe test drive a new beer or two. do you know what next week is?? sec media days motherbitch!! that means quotes galore, including the official start of talking shit and bullshit predictions. so you've got that to look forward to.

i think i like this whole "taking you into the weekend with music" least until the season starts. i don't know about you, but i love me some "run's house" on mtv. that is one funny ass family. the new season started this past wednesday, and it did not fail to entertain. so in honor of that, here is the original old school diddy, "run's house" (who's house?).

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those damn dirty belgians

as i'm sure you all know (since i've been meaning to talk about this all week), anheuser-busch has been purchased by evil belgian overlords. i just don't even know what to say about this. i am so loyal to anheuser-busch its not even funny. let's take a look at JUST A HANDFUL of the products a-b produces:

when i was young and poor, it was natty light and busch light. when i was young and poor and really wanted to get wasted, i would drink one of the many a-b products with the word "ice" in the name. one time in college we went to spring break with nothing but multiple carloads of cases of cans (yes cans) of rolling rock b/c we had found such a sweet ass deal on them. we came close to whipping many an ass that year b/c we could always tell when someone had stolen a beer from us. michelob is a very underrated brand and i sometimes consume the ultra by association as people seem to think this beer will make you ripped. and then of course, there is sweet, sweet bud light. oh the times we've had together. i do enjoy bud heavy, but that shit is just too...well heavy. and i have started to drink bud select now and again as it seems somewhere in between bud heavy and bud light. but bud are my loyal sidekick.

so what does a loyal a-b man do?? continue to drink a-b products and line the pockets of belgians?? or do i attempt to change loyalties and support america like the beer swillin', southern patriot i am?? well any new beer i choose must be mass produced. sounds lame i know, but i don't have the disposable income or the colon strength to drink an assload of micro brews on any given weekend. not to mention i want my beer to be available at any given grocery store/convenience store/whatever. i ain't driving across town to buy beer. i can't stand miller lite and coors light does nothing for me, though i do like other miller and coors products (which in other insane beer news are now part of the same big company). so now, i must make a choice. here are some options for my beer future:

thems some slim pickens. so where does this leave me?? i think i will take some test drives with the above beers. how do they taste?? am i still enjoying that taste on beer #13?? how do i feel the next day?? is my head pounding?? is my colon wrecked?? did i bang any sheep?? if all else fails, i guess i will have to just go back to old faithful, even if it means supporting the belgians. i will just have to offset the difference by buying a shitload less...waffles?? van damme dvd's?? aahhh screw it.

please leave any advice, suggestions, similar sob stories, etc in the comments.

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Thursday, July 17, 2008

crimson and white roundtable: back to blogtober

this week's questions bounce back to the boys at 3rd saturday in blogtober.

-What record would you consider “sufficient progress” in the coming season?

8 wins...plain and simple. if that means only 7 regular season wins and a solid bowl victory, i'm more than ok with that. the sec is not a conference that you can easily make a large jump in a single offseason, and that jump from middle of the pack to the top is the hardest.

-Does college football need a playoff? Why?

hell yes. why?? b/c that's the way its done in real sports. leave the biased "voters" with agendas to figure skating and politics. many say it doesn't solve anything in that there will still be teams left out of the mix that many believe belong. to that i say you have much less of a leg to stand on if we are talking about being left out b/c you are the 9th best team (theoretically) rather than the 3rd best of 3 teams with the same record. to expand the analogy, i never have any sympathy for teams that barely miss the ncaa basketball tournament. they let 65 teams in, if you didn't make it, then you should have done more on the court. the same would hold true for say an 8 team playoff in football.

-If you’re an Alabama fan and a native Alabamian, then more than likely you became a fan sometime between conception and the cutting of the cord, but what moment do you remember best as being “the moment” that you became an active participant in your fandom?

as i've expressed on here many times, i am unique to most bama fans in terms of my background in that i was not born or raised in alabama, but rather deep in tigah country in louisiana. as a sports fan i first became a fan of nfl football, and more specifically the saints. my college football fandom did not come until a few years later. it was a family tradition to shun the tigahs and all things purple and yellow (the saints are gold, the tigahs are yellow). at the time, my older brother had already developed an affinity for the crimson tide, and i followed suit sometime around the time of geno replacing curry. my fandom slowly growing, i was officially hooked for life that new year's night when i watched the tide dismantle the hurricanes.

-What rule change would you most like see implemented?

i'm not a guy who complains about the rules very much. some rules come and some rules go, and you just deal with them. the one way i would like the college game to become more like the pro game is in terms of game flow. the nfl are natzis about their clock and i love it. you know a game is going to kick off at noon and its damn sure going to be over between 3:00 and 3:15. try getting the artist formerly known as jefferson pilot and cbs to pull that off.

not that figure skating doesn't have a redeeming quality or two

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all james posey does is win championships

...and now he's a hornet as the 6'8" posey signed a four year, $25 million contract yesterday. posey has earned 2 rings by playing significant roles for both the celtics this year, and in robbing the mavericks of their manhood back in '05-'06. the hornets were able to give posey a sweet deal by using the money they received from selling their only selection in the draft, as well as not having pay (overpay) a first round draft pick. so essentially, the hornets were able to get james posey with a late first round draft pick. none too shabby. but hey, at least the mavs signed fucking desagana diop and jj barea. deal with that western conference!!!

the odds of this happening only increase in new orleans james

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your thursday morning wake up call

why?? b/c zack is back. zack de la rocha that is. i damn sure don't always agree with his views, but the dude rocks. his new "solo" project is called "one day as a lion." it is basically zack doing everything with mars volta drummer jon theodore backing him up. ep due out july 22nd, and the single was released yesterday. so take a listen...its a fine way to start your thursday.

one day as a lion - wild international.

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

the legend of joe kines continues...

...albeit in college station. do you know an aggie?? of course you do, the damned things are everywhere. well do your local aggie a favor and introduce him/her to the greatest shirt they've ever seen. mike sherman?? mike shmerman. the new aggie regime is all about one man...the man, the myth, the legend...joe kines. click on the trout to buy this lovely item and bring a little flava to your "maroon out."


and your respects...

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i'll be damned...finally some bama quick hits

-in another strange twist to this young mans's career, zeke knight has apparently requested a release from alabama so he can seek a transfer. the bama medical staff is not willing to clear knight medically based on his long term health problems. it appears that knight has decided to go out and find a medical staff that tells him what he wants to hear. sounds like a pretty dangerous idea to me.

-there is a lot of crap in this article, but i post it for only one quote that came out of the saban's mouth in regards to scheduling. the saban says "our goal is to play one (marquee out-of-conference team) every year. you get better by playing great teams." obviously clemson in on the schedule this year, penn state is on the slate in the next couple years, and virginia tech and florida state appear to be other possibilites. i love it.

-antoine caldwell has been selected to be an online columnist for the sporting news this fall. 19 players have been chosen to participate in this little experiment. i for one look forward to this as caldwell has never had a problem giving his opinion. something tells me all rough drafts will pass by the saban's desk first.

-and in news that is about a week old, the snake will not be in the booth for the tide this season as he is taking a year off. stabler says the decision to take the year off was his, and that he fully expects to return in 2009. one interesting note from this story is that the snake maintains his innocence(??), which is something i had not heard before this article.

-and in shits and giggles news, the bleacher report counts down the top 10 sec defenses in the last 15 years. i don't think there is any surprise as to who is numero uno, but the rest of the list is pretty interesting.

but zeke, if you transfer, whatcha gonna do with all that bama bling??

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

the josh hamilton show: a view from the bleachers

HT: uwe blog

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welcome to the josh hamilton show

when i jumped on the josh hamilton bandwagon on opening day, i never thought it would reach these heights or get this least not this quickly. there isn't much that can be said about this guy that hasn't been said already, but last night was some serious icing on the cake that was the first half of his first full season. its nice to see a guy who is humble and simply enjoying the moment for what it is. in the past two months, josh hamilton has done something that very few athletes have ever done and is one of the hardest things to do in sports...he got the fans of both new york teams (mets and yankees) to chant for him as a visiting player. being the pessimist i am, i am already bracing myself for the second half breakdown, but until that time, i'm just going to enjoy watching the show. at this time i would like to announce josh hamilton as the first ever "uncle rico mancrush." now enjoy the highlights from last night poorly synchronized with some cool tunes.

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Monday, July 14, 2008

you're ma boy blue!!

think he's enjoying the whole all star thing??

could josh hamilton rope in any more fans?? yep. tonight when hamilton steps into the box for the home run derby, he will be keeping a promise he made long before he was a major league all star. he will be trying to go yard on pitches thrown to him by a 71 year old volunteer american legion coach from hamilton's hometown. i really hope this geezer can give josh some pitches to hit. it would be a great story for both of them if josh can make some noise tonight.

ever seen an old man's arm fall off??

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tony "no big deal" romo

i'm not a cowboys fan, but i am a romosexual. seriously, romo seems like a really cool dude. he seems to truly be enjoying the fame he is experiencing and all that comes with it (see nailing blonde starlets), without being a douche bag. no matter what question you ask this dude, he's pretty much like "eehhh...its not really a big deal." if i hit the big time tomorrow, i would be like tony romo.

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Friday, July 11, 2008

you tubin' you into the weekend

more sean avery insanity. something tells me there is an endless supply of you tubeage on this guy. i can't wait to watch him every night for the stars.

HT: the sturminator

supposed to be crazy hot here in the big d this 101 today and 103 tomorrow. that means nothing but indoors or pool for this dude. and now i send you out into your weekend with some misheard lyrics for "temperature."

a ewe from the storm indeed.

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rape, murder, arson, and rape

are athlete (and former athlete) mugshots growing on trees lately or what?? apparently the nasdaq isn't the only market that's struggling right now. the "poontang for former athletes" market appears to be struggling as well. case in point...

-former florida guard teddy dupuay has been charged with felony rape, aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping for beating and raping a woman at a utah ski resort last month. dupay says we may have gotten "a little rough," but rape?? come oooooonnnnnn. teddy...buddy...a little rough doesn't equal two fractured ribs, bruises on her arm, shoulder and thigh a swollen left eye and scratches on her back.

-also, former nfl kicker tony zendejas has been charged with (check this list out) rape by use of drugs, rape of an unconscious person, sodomy by anesthesia or controlled substance, and sodomy of an unconscious victim. long story short?? the victim alleges tony gave her a drink at his "popular san dimas (home of bill and ted??) sports bar," she gets groggy, next thing she knows she wakes up in a hotel room and is claiming rape. insanity.

both of these clowns should give old hedley lamar a call

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Thursday, July 10, 2008

matt jones seen outside alabama athletic complex

b/c everybody knows that's where you go to buy nose candy. actually that's not entirely true...but matt jones was caught with a nose full of coke early this morning while hanging out in fayetteville in a parked car with former hawgs tight end jared hicks and some dude. officers approached the vehicle and found jones with a "white card with white powdery substance in his hand" and he was using said card "to chop up and scrape the powder." wow...another athlete pisses away millions. can somebody just give me like 100k?? i won't let you down i promise.

who? matt jones. who?? matt jones.

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josh hamilton is high on life

never go to sleep on "the natural." i did. as a rangers fan who has been brainwashed to be a pessimist, i went to bed after the 8th inning last night...and look at what i missed. my josh hamilton man crush hit an all time high last night as he took k-rod yardwork walk off style with 1 on and 2 out in the bottom of the ninth. i declared this cat my favorite ranger before the season even started (of course i also called the stars shitty in that post), and he has only exceeded expectations. there is just something about this team. are they going to win the division?? no. are they going to win the wild card?? not very damn likely. will they even finish over .500?? very questionable, but in the meantime they sure are fun to watch. the rangers announced yesterday afternoon that they were not going to call up michael ballard for as you can see below, the rotating door from the minors to arlington is officially worn out. so instead the rangers were going to have NO STARTING PITCHER!!! they were just going to use the bullpen to "pitch by committee." here is the pitching line...stop me when you hear somebody worth a shit.

warner madrigal - 3ip 4h 1r 1er 0bb 1k
josh rupe - 3ip 1h 1r 1er 1bb 2k
frank francisco - 1ip 2h 2r 2er 1bb 0k
jamey wright - 2ip 1h 0r 0er 0bb 2k

that is what is known as a big bag of nothin'...but it worked...again. big props to the rangers faithful as well. not only did you stick around when things looked bleak, but you had the "let's go rangers" chant working even as the ball was leaving the yard. and now, enjoy the glory...take it away roy hobbs.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

texas rangers by the numbers

their record
-47-44...record as of today
-38-50...record as of a year ago today out of first out of first one year ago today currently out of the wild card
-25-25...record on the road, not many teams can say they are .500 or better

the offense is mind boggling
-.337...ian kinsler's al leading batting avg (complete with active 20 game hitting streak)
-126...kinsler's mlb hit total (cristian guzman is in 2nd w/ 119)
-81...kinsler's mlb leading run total
-1.037...milton bradley's al leading ops
-87..."the natural" hamilton's mlb leading rbi total that noone else is even w/in shouting distance of (ryan howard-78) leading team runs (by 15 runs over the cubs) leading team hits leading team doubles leading team ops leading team slugging pct leading team batting avg

some scary numbers that probably only prove this won't last
-10...players have made their debut this season. tonight the rangers will be come the 1st team to have pitchers make their debut on back to back nights since the brewers did it in september of 2002
-12...starting pitchers already this season
-46...different players on their roster this season the mlb record for most players on a roster in a season

take the bags off dudes...but i'd still keep them handy

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