Friday, November 28, 2008

tide get ready to roll!!

the good luck charm rides again. hopefully the tide won't need luck tomorrow, but the iron bowl can be a merciless wench.

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auburn weekend forecast: mostly sunny with chance of severe thunderstorms

what does the future hold for tubby??

hey how many iron bowls has auburn won in a row?? i'm can't recall. look there's no way around it, auburn as owned bama of late in this rivalry. however, let's be honest, alabama has been the epitomy of a trainwreck during those years. well stability has finally come to town...and his name starts with an "s" and ends with an "aban." i'm not going to go into great detail on this game for few reasons, one of which is the fact that i'm still on thanksgiving time, and i just don't feel like it. for another, its cliche, but this rivalry truly, more than any other, is a "throw the records out the window" rivalry. that being said, this is what i expect to happen. lots of 3 and outs and punting for about a quarter and half (you might not want to punt it to javy) before the bama offense slowly gains traction. i just can't see auburn getting into the endzone with any frequency against the tide's defense. and i say that knowing full well that tubs will be reaching deeeeeeep into his playbook as if his job depended on it may. bottom line, it may not be pretty, and it may not be easy, but the streak ends tomorrow.

bama 31
auburn 17

oooooo...that stings

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

happy turkey day ya bastards!!

a happy thanksgiving to you and yours. frankly you shouldn't even be reading this you should be hanging with your friends and fam. but for the 11 of you who do actually come by and read this big ball of jackassery, i'm thankful. i'm even more thankful for the 3 or 4 of you who makes it fun. now go get so stuffed you can't even fart for fear of shitting your pants. and go drink enough booze to surpress the urge to bludgeon that relative you hate. GOBBLE! GOBBLE!!

anyone can make a hand turkey...but i gotta foot turkey bitches!!

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love thine enemy: auburn

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

on the road again

this could be the extent of my posting today. i'm traveling down to houston for turkey day with the girlfriends family. on top of that, i've got to try to get at least a tiny bit of work done, take the dog to the vet, and any other chores i can squeeze in. regardless of whether or not i get a chance to do any more posting today, you can rest assured you will get your usual thursday morning wake up call tomorrow. safe travels to those who will be tackling that bear today. never graduate.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

ya 'member that?? the 2001 iron bowl

as i'm sure anyone reading this blog knows, aubbie has won 6 straight iron bowls. well that's negative talk, and i'm thinking in the last time bama won the iron bowl. damn it was a long time ago, but its still fun to watch. good old andrew zow.

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fear the birthmark!!

you might want to fear his arm too

that is the most fun i've had watching a saints game since the nfc championship run in 2006. drew brees is a machine...he's like robo quarterback. the guy is putting up historical level numbers. once again lance moore (who?) stepped up and had a huge game, as did pierre thomas (who?). but the offense putting up those kind of numbers isn't all that surprising anymore...though this was a little more than usual. no the surprise was the defense. those guys were everywhere, particularly that sieve of a secondary. roman harper absolutely lighting people up...randall gay with a sack...jason david with 2 (TWO!!) picks...unreal. a few more games like this and the saints will be right back in the playoff picture. click here for the highlights. WHO DAT?!

how's that chinstrap taste??

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Monday, November 24, 2008

quick hits: damn this seat's gettin' hot

-"it was like arena football out there today," said the coach of the team that scored 68 points on saturday. unfortunately his opponents, abilene christian, scored 93 points in the division II second round playoff game. the wildcats scored on every posession except for one while rolling up 810 yards of total offense. the icing on the cake was abiline christian tossing laterals around on the last play of the game to try to hit the century mark. this of course led to a post game fight. not very christian at all.

-the temperature is getting pretty hot over in baton rouge. glenn guilbeau says "lsu is a poorly coached football team on defense first and foremost and also on offense." the one thing that truly shocked me about this game on saturday is that lsu allowed ole miss to be successful in the "wild rebel" formation after they were completely embarrassed by it just one year ago (arkansas). now that is most definitely some poor coaching. and lsu fan, if you really want to focus your hate on a coach (in lieu of the saban), you may want to look in oxford. that dude is owning you right now.

- questions are definitely starting to surround sly croom over in starkpatch. i for one think it would be a mistake to fire croom this year. i believe his success last year, as well as the way he conducts business as a whole should at least buy him next year, and i think it will. i feel bad for croom in that i think he is probably a better than average coach who is perpetually being let down by a subpar staff and subpar players.

-the latest coaches to get the ax?? san diego state's chuck long, eastern michigan's jeff genyk, and wyoming's joe glenn. how does that make you feel tennessee??

-on the flip side of life, kansas state has rehired bill snyder at 69 years of age. this is one of the dumbest hires i've seen in a long time. imagine of bama had tried to bring back the good times by re-hiring gene stallings. they would have been raked over the coals and been accused of living in the past. and do you know why?? b/c its a horrible idea. good luck with that kansas state.

about as inspiring as joepa's one legged ass

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theory proven

i've always had this theory that if aliens came to this planet and happened to land in an sec town on a saturday in the fall, they would think we were a bunch of blubbering idiots and immediately head home. well this isn't aliens, but it is a bunch of stuck up limeys, ignorant to the ways of american (particularly sec) football...and they're blown away. let iron bowl week begin.

HT: alabama gameday

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week in pics: big 12 south clusterfook

fear the super spread bone wing option

the man, the myth, the legend

the nightmare is complete

houston dale nutt: all up in lsu's kitchen

holy big ball of suck!!

maybe somebody DOES want to win the acc

i'm starting to believe in the beavers

hey look...a sooner all alone in the end zone

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Friday, November 21, 2008

bama-less pre-turkey day weekend

well again, i get to take the weekend off from any football stress this weekend with the tide having the off week, and it is really only an average week of college football. the girlfriend has some kind of spa crap going on tomorrow morning, so i'll have plenty of peace and quiet to enjoy gameday and the early games, including ohio state/michigan @ 11am. after that i will be taking in the lsu/ole miss game. i will however have to duck out at around halftime, b/c at damn near 30 years old, i will be attending my very first couples shower. save all the comments about how gay i am...i already know. so anyways, i will absolutely be back on the couch in time to take in the game of the week live from norman, ok. before i do any of this, i will be meeting up with my old roomie from my freshman year of college to knock down some food and booze. i haven't seen this dude since may of '98 and he's passing through the area on business. should be good times.

since its a bye week, you will not be subjected to the good luck charm, and we will revert back to the offseason friday formula of badass music in the form of you tubeage. today we take a look back at gerry's formative years in music. as a youngster i was heavily influenced by the musical tastes of my older siblings (the last dragon for one), and those tastes were primarily composed of 80's hair bands. poison and guns n' roses were probably my favorites, and to be honest i had no business listening to either given my age. that all changed in 1992. no, not nirvana. they had come along a year earlier and although i grew to appreciate their work, at the time i was only moderately on board. the song (and its video) that truly helped me find my own musical path was pearl jam's "even flow." me and my buddies used to imitate eddie vedder's insane stage dive from the top of the waterslide into the pool. to this day the greatest concert i've ever been to was pearl jam at tad gorley stadium (new orleans) in september of '95. on top of pearl jam kicking ass in a cool venue, and the fact that they were at their peak (in my opinion their first 3 albums were their best), it was extra special b/c this was back when pearl jam was boycotting ticketmaster and getting tickets was no easy task. not to mention a little band called the ramones opened for them. here is footage from that very show of pearl jam doing the punk classic "sonic reducer" with joey ramone. but the song that started it all for me...was "even flow."

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great moments in red raider history

in honor of the biggest game of the week, i thought we'd have a little red raider/sooner fun. the red raider fan is a unique one. they are both harmless and ridiculously obnoxious at the same time. they have a large contingent of drunken degenerates, yet are generally content with a certain amount of losing and therefore are surprisingly pleasant and realistic about the amazing run they are on. since moving to texas i have always supported red raider b/c the 'horns and aggies of the world always treat them as little brother. to some degree i feel tech has accepted this role if for no other reason than it only pisses the big boys off even more when they lose to said little brother. find a 'horn or aggie fan and they will likely tell you that they'd rather lose to their historical rival (each other), as opposed to their "little brother." observe a raider fan rubbing the sooners' nose in a loss in lubbock in '05. "the big 12 refs tried to rip us off...but we won anyway!!!"

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ramblin' wreck indeed

i don't normally talk too much about these weeknight games, but two things were different about this week. a) bama is off so that opens up my friday morning post. b)the world wide leader actually put an interesting game on during the week. first of all i love watching georgia tech's offense. i love watching the triple option anyway, but its especially interesting being run full time in a bcs conference. tailback jonathan dwyer rolled for 128 yards on 10 carries and 2 td's without so much as a single carry in the second half. dwyer is a studly combination of power and speed and is running away with the acc rushing title. as a team the jackets racked up 472 yards on 56 carries for 8.4 yards a carry. all of this against those proud boys from da u. passing game you ask?? 4 of 7 for 46 yards as a team...but that's not really necessary is it?? keep in mind this is the first year for paul johnson and his offense at georgia tech. can you imagine in a few years when johnson is able to recruit players specifically for this system and the players are able to truly master the intricacies.

as a side note, i really enjoy the thursday night crew of fowler, the bachelor, craig james, erin andrews. they really seem to be enjoying themselves and therefore i enjoy listening. fowler mentioned at some point how much he liked georgia tech's fight song. i was not familiar with it at the time, but i'm always intrigued by fight songs, so i researched it...and by research i mean you tube. i'm not gonna say it ranks up there with the greats, but in terms of pure lyrical content its way up there and is clearly one of the most underrated. listen up.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

i want money...lots and lots of money

as with last bye week, with no bama game to really discuss, i will give my lead pipe locks of the week. so far this year the win percentage is .554 (117/215 with a few pushes in there) on my top 25 picks. which isn't amazing, but many would kill for it. once again, all sec games (couldn't find a line on florida anywhere) plus the game of the week. now go take out a second mortgage so you can be like your boy richie rich.

all times central.

-tennessee +3.5 @ vandy 11:30am (jp) - the whole world is thinking vandy is FINALLY going to handle up on the vols...which i why i think just the opposite. the total on this game is only 37. get your popcorn ready.

-arkansas -1.5 @ mississippi state 1:30 pm - i think this line would be a lot bigger except petrino is unsure as to which dick will start at qb. state can't score. i don't have anything to add to that...they just can't score.

-ole miss +4 @ lsu 2:30pm (cbs) - i think ole miss is going to win this game straight up. the rebs are red hot and despite 30 points in the 4th quarter last week, i think the tigahs are shell shocked.

-texas tech +7 @ oklahoma 7pm (abc) - i actually think the sooners will win this game, but i'll take texas tech +7 vs. damn near anyone. for bonus money, the total is 77 and that ain't near enough points. take the over.

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love thy...potential future enemies??

look, i'm a realist. i don't have a great deal of confidence bama will make it out of atlanta alive, but i've seen a lot stranger things in college football. however, should they somehow find a way to make it out of atlanta alive, this could very likely be a preview of a future "love thine enemy." plus, let's face it, i'd have a revolt on my hands if i didn't put up some thursday morning eye candy. enjoy.

click here to remove those pesky well as here.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

bye week uselessness: search engine fun

well once again bye week sends me scurrying for topics. i figured this would be as good a time as any to bring back "the wacky ways people find uncle rico." this is where we review the bizzare search terms that bring people to the site and what they find for their trouble.

-"ugliest blazer in the world" - ugliest blazer competition - well they must have looked pretty damn hard b/c i couldn't even track down this result on like the first 10 pages of results.

-"super rape machine" - rape, murder, arson, rape - sometimes i'm ashamed to even be associated with this blog.

-"wesley caroll muay thai" - homepage - this one simply led to the homepage, which i can only assume had wesley carroll mention on it at the time. is state's now 3rd string qb also a muay thai badass?? will we see him in the octagon after he graduates??

-"charles grant jambalaya recipe" - june 2008 archive - this search pulled up a page from the archives as opposed to a specific post. the archive page contained both the phrase "charles grant" and "jambalaya recipe" though the two were not used together. we are proud to be the second overall result for any search though.

-"corso checking to see if rashad johnson was in bounds" - c/w roundtable-lsu hate week - number 1 result baby!! the only problem is corso never checked to see if rashad was in was jpw's run against lsu that was called back for holding. fast forward to the 4:25 to see what i assume this person was searching for.

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

my bank account goes boom muthafucka!!

breaking news out of austin is that defensive coordinator will muschamp has received a signficant raise, and been given the jimbo fisher treatment. beginning january 1, muschamp's salary will increase to $900k (wow), and he will succeed mack brown as head coach whenever he sees it time to retire. sounds like a really big committment to a somewhat unknown entity. makes me think some big dogs must have come sniffin' around and texas panicked. i got $20 that says this plan does not work out as planned.

that's levitation holmes

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bowl projection nonsense

i always find myself grasping at straws during a bye week. as much as i hate it, and as useless as i think it is, i can't help but keep an eye on espn's weekly bowl projections. its pretty interesting to go back and look at each weeks projections, particularly for a team like alabama that has come so far in the rankings. every week two "experts" (mark schlabach/bruce feldman) give their side by side projections. take a gander.

papa vs rutgers/peach vs. va tech
-week 1: (beat clemson's ass)
outback vs. wisconsin/capital one vs. wisconsin
-week 2: (struggled with tulane)
outback vs. illinois/capital one vs. wisconsin
-week 3: (rolled western kentucky)
outback vs. wisconsin/capital one vs. ohio state
-week 4: (rolled arkansas)
cotton vs. texas/capital one vs. ohio state
-week 5: (shocked uga)
bcs title game vs. oklahoma/bcs title game vs. mizzou
-week 6: (stuggled with kentucky)
sugar vs. byu/bcs title game vs. mizzou
-week 7: (bye week)
bcs title game vs. texas/bcs title game vs. texas
-week 8: (beat ole miss)
sugar vs. utah/sugar vs. boise state
-week 9: (spanked tennessee)
sugar vs. utah/sugar vs. boise state
-week 10: (whipped arkansas state)
sugar vs. texas/sugar vs. boise state
-week 11: (squeak by lsu)
sugar vs. pitt/sugar vs. boise state
-week 12: (spanked miss. state)
sugar vs. utah/sugar vs. usc

a couple of points. first, could these guys be more bandwagon?? a big win over clemson?? new year's day bowl game. shock uga?? bcs title game!! idiots. secondly, it appears to be shaping up very poorly for the tide. i love the sugar bowl, but i'm going to be extremely pissed if the tide gets matched up with one of the "bcs busters," i.e. utah or boise. this is something i frequently refer to as the "old man fight." that is, when you're a young buck, getting into a fight with an old man is a lose/lose proposition. if you beat his ass, all you accomplished was whipping an old man's ass. and god forbid you get the hell beat out of you by the old'll never live it down. i support the sugar bowl, but for the love of god can bama get a bcs opponent?!?

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Monday, November 17, 2008

quick hits: mass quantities of suck

this blog has been all bama football all the time over the last 3 months, and for good reason. the only problem is that means less of all other sports and that includes the teams i love to follow. only problem is most of the teams i follow are sucking right now. here's a look at some of suck.

-first a team i don't care about sucking, da 'cuse, making a move nobody is surprised by in firing coach greg robinson. 9-35 (3-25 big east) will do that to you. personally i can't believe the guy was even brought back this year.

-one more note of suck not about one of my teams...and i really feel there should be more outrage about this. did you see the fucking tragedy of a uniform (see here, here, and here) oregon actually wore in public this weekend?? we spoke of rumors about black helmets (are those black or dark green??) in our preseason uni review, but nobody could have forseen such horrible jerseys. really?? wings??

-now on to my teams. bama hoops sucks already. they lost their season opener last night to mercer. MERCER?! from the glass is half full department, ronald steele came back from not playing last year to drop 25pts (5-11 3pt), and true frosh stud jamychal green went for 17 and 12 in his debut. the tide will return for another barn burner on wednesday night when they host florida a&m, that of college gameday fame.

-it may be strong to say the saints suck given that they are 5-5, but with only 6 games remaining, they are 2 games out of first in their division, and have lost to every team they've played that is worth a shit (save for week 1). their last 6 games are against 5 teams in the playoff hunt and the lions. they might want to think about getting hot like...ummm now.

-and now, for the greatest of all sucks, the dallas sports scene. with a win last night, the cowboys probably escape the suck label for now (not that i care), however they are still of the brink and given preseason expectations still suck relatively speaking. more suck comes in the way of the stars. the team that took the eventual stanley cup champ red wings to 6 games in the conference finals last year has jumped out to a 6-8-3 start with largely the same roster. very nice. and then there is the mavs. 3 years finals. two years ago...67 wins. last year...first round exit and the horrible jason kidd trade. this year...a 3 and 7 start. dallas...slowly becoming a black hole of sports.

ownage galore

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monday you tube analysis: mississippi state

where we post a youtube that has little to nothing to do with football, yet expresses our feelings regarding what happened in bama's game that week.

the tide just keeps chipping away. they slowly chipped away at the bulldogs on saturday night, and they are slowly chipping away at their season long dream. the tide had only two brain farts defensively, and they just happened to both be on the same drive resulting in the only points of the night for the bulldogs. the tide held state to 167 yards (78 on that one drive), 9 first downs, 2-12 on 3rd down, and 35 rushing yards. after that first touchdown, i never felt state would threaten to get anything more than a field goal. on offense the tide was less than spectacular, but i also didn't feel they tried to do a whole helluva lot after javy arenas gave them 14 points. always nice to get the reserves in for mop up duty as well. on the final drive (that ate up about 7 minutes) greg mcelroy goes 2/2 for 18 yards, freshman hoss jeramie griffin looked good racking up 27 yards on 5 carries, and fellow freshman demetrius goode gets 2 carries for 3 yards. all in all, a dominating if not overly impressive performance. the tide and auburn both take next saturday off before squaring off in the iron bowl on 11/29. throw the records out the window and all that bs.

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week in pics: holy boring

the aggie nightmare continues

a crap filled crap fest

just so you know, jimmy clausen threw this pass

don't mind us, we're just hangin' 50 on someone...again

its like nobody even wants to go to the acc championship

see...its like nobody even wants to go to the acc championship

not as impressive as the other one loss studs

bowl eligible bitches!!

tiger stadium on a saturday night: feel the intimidation!! might wanna kick away from javy

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Friday, November 14, 2008

tide get ready to roll!!

well once again the tide should not need luck to come away with a win this week, but he who breaks tradition ends up sad.

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i don't give a shit...AIGHT!?!

nobody does bullshit "hey coach" type shows like the saban. don't believe me?? go to about the 2:50 mark and let the saban make you feel like a 16 year old who just brought home an "f"...including dropping an s-bomb on you. love this guy.

HT:friends of the program

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mississippi state weekend forecast: sunny and beautiful with a slight chance of isolated showers

now he just looks like clarence thomas (HT: the wiz)

tuscaloosa's native son sly croom returns to t-town once again. this year he returns with a two game winning streak against the tide, but struggling mightily. the bulldogs enter the game 11th is scoring offense (.1 per game over vols or they'd be dead last), however they are 8th in scoring defense at 21.2 ppg. that being said, i feel that those stats don't tell the whole story given that they are on the field all fucking day and given short fields thanks to they're brutal offense. more stats that speak to that is the fact that they are 11th in rushing defense and 1st in pass defense. that tells me that teams are kicking their ass by halftime and running the ball the rest of the way. anthony dixon is a very solid rb who is being wasted on an offense facing that has been going against 8 man fronts all year. they also have a decent wr in brandon mcrae, but nobody can get him the ball consistently. the passing game does seem to be much improved (relatively speaking) since tyson lee took over. in losing to la tech, getting rolled by ga tech, and getting their ass beat by fellow sec cellar dwellar tennessee, state has been the embarrassment of the conference this year. i just really feel like state plays right into bama's the ball, stop the run, and put the ball in tyson lee's hands. i just can't possibly see state scoring more than 10 points given the play of the tide's defense.

bama 30
state 10

they've got a fevah

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

raise your hand if you're sleeping in on saturday

am i the only one who just found out where college gameday is going this week?? are you fucking serious?? i'd rather you just do it from a studio up in bristol.

meac power bitches!!

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love thine enemy: mississippi state

click if you think its naked time

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