Wednesday, April 30, 2008

and now a word from avery johnson...

click here for story

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do you blog?? then you are a piece of shit.

i don't consider myself a blogger, but i do have a blog, which basically means nothing more than i have an internet connection and am semi-literate. i am not even in the same world as big dogs of the blogosphere, nor do i desire to be. i created uncle rico on a whim last summer for one simple reason...to talk shit about sports. i am a sports fan, and i tend to surround myself with people who are sports fans to varying degrees. before uncle rico we would often get caught up sending rounds and rounds of emails to each other in regards to "why my team is better than your team" or some such nonsense. god forbid you miss a day or even an afternoon of work, or you would come back to 43 replies to something you didn't even particpate in. so in order to save our inboxes, i created uncle rico. over the course of its very short life, 4 or 5 other people with similar interests have become somewhat regular readers. i, for one, get much of my sports news from blogs b/c i'd much rather hear what a beer drinking, 28 year old, true sports fan thinks about sports than some guy who majored in journalism in 1963, and who only follows sports b/c it pays his kid's tuition. the bottom line is, its no different than the radio or the tv...if you don't like what you see, keep moving.

if you haven't heard, last night bob costas and the guy who wrote "friday night lights" (and is a huge dickface...who knew??) decided to lynch will leitch of deadspin on hbo while braylon edwards tried not to get anything on his shoes. instead of posting any videos, i'm going to point you in the direction of many of the high quality bloggers out there who are covering this story much better than i ever could, complete with videos and insight. viva bloggers!! and fuck that guy who wrote that book!!

-first and foremost, mr. leitch himself

-the boys over at fire joe morgan - a few words on the "internet"

-awful announcing has plenty, just scroll around.

-mac g's world - leitch entered bissinger saw

-mr. bissinger expands upon his feelings on blogs and horses over on kissing suzy kolber.

-orson assures us he DOES NOT live in his mother's basebment over on everyday should be saturday.

-the big lead - fear and loathing in the blogosphere

-and so on...and so on...

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where do we go...where do we go now...where do we go??

owned!!

i don't know what to say that i haven't already said about that performance, so i say we look to the future.

-first off avery. is he gone?? the local media is already packing his bags, but i'm not sure where cuban stands. it looks as though d'antoni is toast in phoenix, and in some ways he's had a better last few years than avery. i think he ends up getting his walking papers, but i'm not even sure how i would feel about it. i mean i think the guy was just crowned too early after taking the mavs to the finals. he's a good coach, but not great. he makes some pretty insane lineup changes/substitutions sometimes. the bottom line is this team is regressing.

-what about donnie nelson?? he is the gm and and president of basketball operations. considering this team just made a first round exit, is old, and has little to no draft picks, this guy has to take some heat. he's done a helluva lot for this franchise, but outside of signing brandon bass, his last string of moves have been questionable at best.

"hey nets, we were just kidding bro. wanna trade back??"

-do you implode the roster?? if so, who's safe?? anyone?? i can give you at least one reason why every player on this roster should be moved, but i can also give you at least one reason why each shouldn't...most of which are contracts. nearly every player of significance is signed through at least 2010 for big bucks. however, contracts aside, let's take a look. although i have no beef with dirk, hell he might have had a better year this year than last year's mvp season, he just doesn't look like he can lead a team to a title. i would be open to the "unthinkable" and seeing what they could get for dirk. former #2 josh howard is borderline useless at this point. he was supposed to peak this season, but instead turned into an untradable liability. his shooting percentage is terrible and he makes poor decisions causing him to disappear for very long stretches in games. i have no real problem with jason terry. he is what he is, but if we're imploding, we're imploding. jason kidd...i called the trade idiotic from the word go and i stand by it. if they don't make that trade, they still probably get ousted in the first round, but at least you have more youth and more draft picks to build with. fuck jason kidd. i honestly put dampier in the same category as terry, he is what he is. quality big men don't just grow on trees. as for the bench, give me brandon bass and you can get rid of everyone else, and that includes the shitbag that jerry stackhouse has become. wow...just wow.

i know cubes...i know

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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

tashard choice goin' all "any given sunday" on your ass

dallas cowboy fans...this is your new 3rd (or 2nd?) string running back. this is from before georgia tech's game vs. clemson this past year.

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the anti-mavericks

fear marty

the stars are absolutely everything that their "roommates" the mavericks are not right now. they are going above and beyond, playing over there head, leaving it all on the court/ice, and many other sports cliches, while the mavs are none of those things. not only are the stars best players stepping it up to another level, but they are getting production from their role players as well. not to mention the fact that the stars will play on back to back nights starting tonight, which is something that the mavs (and the rest of the nba for that matter) can't even comprehend. so best of luck to you stars. here's to you trying to buck the trend of dallas teams choking at the first sign of success.

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Monday, April 28, 2008

2 final draft notes

2 final thoughts on the draft and then i'm moving on.

matt forte running over 9th overall pick keith rivers

-the chicago bears made slidell high's own matt forte the 44th pick overall on saturday. given the performance to this point of cedric benson, forte should have every opportunity to get playing time. "what he gives us is a big back, a three-down back," bears general manager jerry angelo said. "he has enough speed to get to the outside. and he has the ability to make people miss at the second level. and those were two areas where we never really could find any consistency, which made us an easy team to defend." congrats mr. forte. let me know if you need any addtional "posse" members.

-finally, a hilarious note. in the 5th round the bengals selected fresno state dt jason shirley. who gives a shit right?? well shirley was suspended 3 times and arrested 2 times last year alone, including being charged with dui. how could the bengals do this?? who has more arrests and dui's in the last few years than the bengals?? good luck with all that bengals fans. just when it seems they are going to pull themselves out of the nfl's armpit...here they are.

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when in doubt...assault someone

jason kidd finally shows his playoff value. devin harris doesn't have the balls or the strength to pull jannero pargo down onto his nose by the back of the head. i mean i don't blame jason kidd. would you want to stick around for the rest of that display last night?? i'm quite sure this abortion will mercifully be brought to an end of tuesday night, at which point we can start the implosion watch. is avery gone?? what about the squad?? outside of dirk, brandon bass, and maaaaaybe jason terry none of these guys has shown any heart. the only thing that might stand between some of these guys and and one way ticket out of dallas is a bad contract. screw it...let's think happier maverick thoughts until wednesday morning.

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1 down...2 to go

well i made it back alive, but just barely. i'm getting too old for these heavy boozin', light sleepin', heavy drivin' weekends. i didn't run into jimmy dix (sorry les), but i did commit random acts of violence against a groom's cake.

thanks to josh for the draft post, and thanks for last dragon for texting draft updates all weekend. given my weekend i watched essentially none of it. based on the texts, and what little reading i've done, i'll say this...

-the chiefs blew everyone else away in terms of draft success this weekend
-the cowboys had a nice draft, but they will regret passing on manningham...or some other wr for that matter
-i'm only "so-so" on the cb the saints took in the 2nd, but at least they were addressing needs
-i think sedrick ellis is going to be a bad man
-i looooove the adrian arrington pick in the 7th round
-i can never get to excited about drafting a kicker, but again...addressing needs
-and keep jeremy shockey out of new orleans...i don't want his ass
-interesting tidbit for tide fans AND tide haters for that matter...the tide went without having a player drafted for the first time since 1970. maybe 6-6, and the oft questioned abilities of nick saban look a little better now. i mean think about some of the teams out there that had at least one player drafted.

more to come today on the other questions i posed on friday including the mavs, stars, and rangers.

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Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Obviously Not Live Live Blog of the Draft

Blame my wireless and my achilles. I couldn't do it from the couch and I wasn't about to hobble my ass to and fro betwix the office and the living room on a repaired achilles. You didn't miss a great deal anyway. It was about what you could expect. Chris Berman let slip with insipid analysis and nonsensical utterings. The Saints put together a smart trade and filled needs. The Chiefs are having the best draft so far.


Since Gerry and myself and seemingly everyone else dwelling on here are devotees of the Black and Gold we'll start there. There were, as every year, plenty of rumors swirling around what the Saints might do with their 10th pick. Trade up and go for Dorsey? Trade down to the Eagles and pick up Sheppard? Work some even more nebulous trade with the Giants for Shockey?

The answer was a smart, fair and ultimately beneficial trade with the Patriots. The Saints gave up the 10th pick and their 3rd round pick for the Pat's 7th pick and their 5th round. Nothing wrong there. Now what did the Saints do with this? They made an excellent pick in picking up Sedrick Ellis, defensive tackle, from Southern Cal. 

Ellis can contribute right away, helping plug the middle against the run while spelling the Fresh Prince Will Smith and Thomas. The Saints front office utilized free agency to address defensive needs in fine fashion and continued that work in the draft.

New Orleans' next pick was 40th and they grabbed a decent looking corner from Indiana. I was hoping Kenny Phillips from tha U or Brandon Flowers from VT would still be around but were drafted right in front of the Saints. So I think they made due.

Here's where we bring in the intelligent analysis from the Berman, Steve Young and Keyshawn Johnson braintrust. They were all convinced that the best idea was for the Saints to make the rumored trade with the Giants to obtain Jeremy Shockey for the 2nd round pick. Yeah guys, the Saints have one of the absolute hottest and top rated offenses in the league and they are going to commit a grievous error in abandoning the needs of defense to obtain a troubled and injured, if talented, tight end. 

A digression, Shockey would fit right in and kick ass I bet. But with Colston, Copper, Henderson, Bush, Miller, Meacham and some other dude that escapes me, the offense has enough targets for Brees. The Saints need defense. Thankfully, they stayed home, took care of needs and didn't do anything stupid (rumors were trading the pick AND Harper. eff that).

So the announcers were shocked. Keep in mind, this discussion came about 10 minutes after the pick took place. That's because ESPN, in their seemingly infinite ability to fuck up, was taking commercial breaks right when picks were being announced. Then they comically started announcing/analyzing them out of order. It woulda been funny if it was so damned annoying. 

Of course, in all of this Berman was an idiot. He made stupid mistakes (saying Troy played a harder schedule in Auburn and Alabama. Uh no. They did play Arky, UF and UGA. Nice try there fuckstick. And he just generally sputtered and hacked his way through some attempts at running commentary. It was exactly what you expect from him.

The Destroyer of Worlds, Dorsey went to the Chiefs. That was just the start of an excellent draft for them. In fact, they picked up the aforementioned CB Flowers that I wanted for the Saints at that point in the draft. I still think Chris Long is overrated and that the Rams would've been better off with Dorsey, but so be it. And it's not homerism, I just don't see Long being worth it. And, I say that Forte' (rb from Tulane) will be a steal for someone.

So there you have a liveblog wrapped up in one post hours after it happened. I left out all the great Under Armor commercials, the ESPN voice overs for the NBA playoff games being voiced over the picks being announced, the now pathetic but still sadly entertained Jets fans that can still spell Jets,  and tired analysis of Kiper's hair.

One last random note, I really enjoy listening to Mike Tirico, Jaworski and Herbstreit at the ESPN radio booth over the A Team of Berman and clowns. Those three know what they are talking about and provide good commentary. 

So Who Dat to one and all...

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Friday, April 25, 2008

gerry dorsey's weddin' extravaganza

3 weddings…on 3 consecutive weekends…in 3 different states…covering over 2600 miles. that's what lies ahead of me. it kicks off today with a drive to the red stick. priority #1 while i'm in town is to find jimmy dix when i go out on saturday night, pick a fight with him, get him arrested, and help the big white hat clear up his little qb controversy.

there will lots to review come monday as it is a busy sports weekend from uncle rico's standpoint.
-what goes down in the draft...particularly with the saints??
-how do the stars look after 2 games??
-did the mavs recover or implode?? is avery johnson toast??
-and rangers manager ron washington is definitely toast...the question is how soon?? this weekend??

i'll be lookin' for ya jimmy

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

my state is bigger, faster, stronger than your state

the usa today recently released some interesting info in regards to where nfl talent comes from. it breaks the info down in terms of high school, college, and conference. the numbers that interest me are the ones that focus on high school b/c that is generally where a person is from. obviously in terms of sheer numbers, cali, texas, and florida dominate. however, if you take a closer look, i.e. "per capita," the numbers take an interesting turn. i based these rankings on the most recent u.s. census numbers i could find. the resulting number is number of nfl players per 100,000 residents.

top 10
louisiana 5.29
mississippi 4.57
dc 4.30
alabama 3.57
south carolina 3.22
georgia 3.00
florida 2.99
hawaii 2.64
texas 2.42
nebraska 2.26

one of the main reasons i did this was b/c i remembered an si article a few years back that showed how bad ass louisiana is at turning out athletes. although i couldn't find the article, i did dig up a map from that series of articles. this map has resized each state based on number nfl players produced per capita. click the visual aid for a larger view.

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droppin' the gloves

tomorrow night the stars begin their second round series against the san jose sharks. these two teams squared off on the final night of the regular season, and it was fight night on ice. should be interesting to see how this plays out in the playoffs considering nobody want to take and dumb penalties. all of these clips are from that one game. enjoy the insanity.





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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

nfl quick hits...cuz its draft week

more linkless quick hits b/c i'm strapped for time.

-the dolphins will make jake long the top draft pick on saturday. long signed a 5 year $57.75 ($30 mil guaranteed) deal. not bad money if you can get it. rams you are now on the clock. do you want chris long? or my cousin glenn dorsey??


-rule #1 in nfl general manager handbook...if dan snyder makes an offer, you take it b/c there is a 99% chance he is overpaying for whatever it is you've got. the bengals turned down an offer that may have very well included two first round draft picks for ocho cinco. being that they probably won't get a better offer than that, the bengals seem intent on letting ocho cinco sit out the season...if he really means it.

-the vikings aquired jared allen from the chiefs for the vikings first round pick (17th overall) and both of their third round picks. that's a helluva lot to give away, but i actually think that jared allen is the real deal...but is he THAT good??

-from the "it was only a matter of time" department, the seahawks finally cut shaun alexander. the dude was just costing way to much money for way to little production. i'm not one of those guys who continues to love guys after they leave their alma mater for the nfl, but shaun is a good dude, and i wish him nothing but the best. he'll catch on somewhere else, and i just hope he can make the most of it.


-and of course it is draft weekend. i actually dig the draft, and this will be the first one in a while that i will not be watching as i will be traveling. although i do love the draft, i hate mock drafts. i've yet to genuinely look at a single one of them. i will however be happy to grade teams after the fact...particularly my saints. if they don't sure up that defense i'm going to shove payton's visor up his ass.

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nba quick hits...cuz i've got a power cord

i guess i never really considered how much a damn power cord could cripple me...but it did. i was only out of commission for yesterday afternoon and this morning, but i feel like i'm way behind...which means you get quick hits. first nba style, with some nfl quick hits coming later.

-chris paul, chris paul, chris paul, chris paul. it is going to be highway robbery when they give the mvp to kobe's rapin' ass. cp3 is merely averaging 33.5 pts and 13.5 ast in his first two playoff games. he is dominating the mavs like nobody has since waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when baron davis did it last year...and d-wade the year before that. fuckin' mavs. more on them later.


-lebron james owns the wizards even more than cp3 owns the mavs (and that's saying something) b/c he's doing it for a third straight year. why the wizards thought it would be a good idea to run their mouths before this series i'll never know. the wizards all but pulled his pants down and punched in the throat in game 2 and he still dropped 32/9/12 on them.

-what is it about the spurs?? they always look so pedestrian during the regular season, but then they turn it up like 4 levels in the postseason. despite kobe and the lakers looking so good, and the celts in the east, i would not put it by these bastards to win it all again. i hate them by the way.

-nothing like playing in the eastern conference, and orlando more specifically, to keep you in obscurity, but dwight howard is a BEAST!! through 2 games the guy is averaging 27 pts and 21 rebs. 21 rebounds?! are you serious??


-the mavericks...what can you say?? they are completely mind-fucked when it comes to the playoffs. they are gutless. dirk and brandon bass are the only two mavs who showed any shred of leaving it all on the floor last night. i'd like to go ahead and request input from the people who supported the jason kidd trade. you mean to tell me the mavs couldn't have gotten to this point with devin harris and desagana diop?? since this is "quick" hits i'll save my thoughts for a full "mavs are playing golf in may again" post.

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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

technical difficulties

my damned power cord for my laptop crapped out on me this morning, so i pretty much haven't been on the computer all day. hopefully i will rectify the situation in the morning. go mavs. WHOOOOOOOOO!!!

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first ivan drago...now kalib starnes

i consider myself a "casual" fan of the ufc. truth be told i freakin' love mma, but i just don't put forth the effort required to be a good fan. the fact is there isn't much advertising for these events, so i rarely even know when these events are taking place, and it would require me to go out and find this information. i'm afraid you're going to have to bring this information to me. and this doesn't even get into the whole subject of pay per view. all that aside, the unintentional comedy meter was in full effect this past weekend at ufc 83.

the event took place in canada, so the card was not surprisingly full of canadian flavor. one of which was canadian born kalib starnes. if i remember correctly this dude was on like the second season of the ufc reality show and he pussed out a time or two on that. either way, he completely pusssed out in front of his home crowd, and his opponent nate quarry quickly won over many a ufc fan i'm sure. feel free to fast forward through some of the cowardice, but the last third of the video is gold. quarry throws in some high stepping, a fighting style that the last dragon and i used to employ, a well as a quote at the very end that will no doubt settle any and all tensions between america and canada.


there is some word out there that starnes may have his ufc contract terminated for the on camera profanity (don't call people out after that performace), his complete lack of desire to fight, not to mention all of the money people paid to watch that bullshit.

ht: the big and the brown

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Monday, April 21, 2008

quick hits: obscure sports edition

-pga tour-my favorite pga golfer boo weekley defended his title at the verizon heritage this weekend. if you're not familiar with boo, this interview will give you a pretty good idea of why the copenhagen dipping, mossy oak wearing, crimson tide loving, neck is redder than tiger's sunday shirts golfer is developing such a cult following.

-ncaa baseball-the sec west continues to gay it up on the baseball diamond. despite continuing to struggle to stay about .500 and being 8-10 in conference, bama baseball finds itself in second in the west. and even worse, uga and lsu played to a tie yesterday due to some ree-fucking-diculous curfew rule that seems to result in at least one tie every year. any hope the sec has of being represented in omaha resides in the east...so kick some ass sec east. at least bama has a couple sweet ass haircuts on their squad.


-ncaa golf-the bama golf team did in fact bring home both the individual and the team sec championships this weekend. michael thompson brought home the individual title just a week after his appearance at the masters. the sec has 6 of the top 13 golf teams in the country, and they now wait for their bids into the ncaa tournament.

-journalism-my boy over at picture me rollin' has chosen to particpate in the VERY obscure sport of "actual journalism." he has flipped the script on bama beat writer ian rapaport and chosen to interview and interviewer. rapaport is famous for getting unique if not hostile reactions from the saban, and this interview sheds an interesting light on rapaport and his thoughts on the saban.

-indy racing-and finally, just for the last dragon, who loves nothing more than women insisting on competing against men...danica finally got a victory. she then proceeded to celebrate her win by crying her eyes out like...well quite frankly like a little girl.

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big d sports...b/c you love it

don't worry non dallas peeps, these aren't likely to persist for much longer. in just a couple more weeks, the mavs will have been eliminated, the stars will have been eliminated, and the rangers will already be wallowing in the depths of obscurity. until then, enjoy laughing at my frustration.

the rangers blew a couple of very winnable games this weekend in boston. one by giving up a freaking BOMB to man-ram and one by blowing a 5-0 lead and yet another quality start from kevin millwood by giving up 6 runs in the 7th and 8th innings yesterday. so far this has been the most frustrating season of rangers baseball in recent memory for me. it seems like every game they do something really well...hit, starting pitching, defense, whatever...only to find a way to piss it away before the game is over. they are already only about 2 weeks from letting this season get away from them just like last year. ps-john danks had another kick ass outing for the white sox yesterday.


i should have known better than to pick the mavs to beat anybody in the playoffs. why?? b/c they are a bunch of sackless wonders. check out dirk getting straight punked by david west. if dirk doesn't lay an extremely hard, possibly flagrant foul on west in game 2, its all but over...mentally if nothing else.


now...on to some good news. yooooouuuuuuurrrrr dallas stars finally advanced beyond the first round of the playoffs. it took them 5 years to do it, but here they are. they still have to wait to find out who they will play in round two, but for now it doesn't matter. soak it in stars fans. so now, to get your week started right, i give you what is probably the greatest fight song/theme song in professional sports..."dallas stars" by pantera.

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Hornets 104, Mavericks 92: Gerry's Take

In lieu of written words, this blog will once again rely on you tube to furnish the appropriate thoughts featuring our very own, Gerry. Take it way Gerry!



I commend Gerry for manning up, putting some dadgum thoughts together and getting them on dadgum youtube so dadgum fast. Also, he is to be commended for branching out from the dadgum printed word and utilizing the dadgum video.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Friday, April 18, 2008

bama golf??

yes...a bama golf post. obviously i never get to actually watch college golf, but i am interested in it. i like to play golf, i like to watch golf, i like the university of alabama...you get the point. i just didn't want you to think i was one of those assholes i mentioned in my women's basketball post. in any event, the tide will be traveling to st. simon's island, ga this weekend for the sec championships. the tide is ranked #1 (or #2 depending on the poll) in america with uga right on their heels. in other tide golf news, michael thompson (who was a stroke away from being the low amateur at the masters) is 1 of 10 semifinalist for the hogan award, which is given to the top collegiate golfer each year. thompson's story is an interesting one as he was initially a stud golfer at tulane before hurricane katrina and its aftermath caused tulane to disband the progam, and thompson to transfer to bama. so if you've made it this far, that's probably more than you've ever read about bama golf...but i like it...and its my blog...so blow me.

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dallas sports quick hits

a quick post on the dallas sports scene, as things are happening so fast that i can barely keep up.

the stars down the ducks 3-1 in dallas last night to take a 3-1 series lead. they turn around and play game 5 tonight in anaheim b/c its hockey and they are fucking hardcore...and you're not. only a true shitting of the pants could take this series away now.

the rangers were trying really hard to make themselves irrelevant in mid april once again by going on a 5 game losing streak, and then they come back and take two in a row from toronto including beating the almight roy halliday last night. they got another really solid outting from their starting pitching (padilla), while halliday took the rare complete game loss. i really think this cat playing rf david murphy may have something. he has been my pleasant surprise of the season so far (outside of quality starting pitching). i've seen him make more than one nice play in the outfield, and at the dish all he's doing is hitting .300 and scoring runs. did the rangers get this dude in the gagne trade with boston?? i think they did. anyone...anyone???

and now the mavs. they kick off their playoff series with the hornets tomorrow night in no. i really think the mavs are going to win this series...call it a hunch. which is strange b/c i've had little to no confidence in the mavs since the kidd trade. i just want to go ahead and document my "mavs in 7" prediction right now.

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wanna know why nick saban hates the media??

b/c a large percentage of them are fucking assholes. this is funny, sad, scary, and then some more funny all at the same time. my favorite part is when the douch tries to ask tejada what year he was born in and he replies "dominican republic."

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

hey...is that blood coming out of your ear??

gerry jumps back into the live music pool tonight, and it is an unlikely suspect...ministry. now my musical tastes span across a pretty damn broad spectrum, but ministry is not in it. the "workout" mix on my ipod has the likes of godsmack, tool, sevendust, etc, but ministry is beyond that range for me. however, i have a buddy who is into it, and he has an extra ticket, and he needs a wingman, so i'm in. i'm pretty anxious to see the crowd at this show. ministry had a few "hits" in the early 90's, but as far as i knew they weren't even making music anymore. so will it be a bunch of 30 somethings who dug ministry in their heyday, or a bunch of 20 year old undergounders?? i'll have to wait and comment tomorrow. until then, i give you..."just one fix."

rob zombie before rob zombie was rob zombie

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steve mcnair to retire

it appears that ravens qb steve mcnair is calling it quits. i have to be honest and say that i have been pretty indifferent on mccnair throughout his career, other than the fact that i've always respeced the fact that if he could breathe and walk, he was playing. actually, given that he played the better part of a season with a fucked up sternum, breathing may be optional. time has caught up with him though, and he's been pretty tough to watch of late. congrats on a great career to steve "air" mcnair.

"que it up muthafucka!!"

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last night messed around and got a triple double

an impressive season ending win for the mavs last night. either byron scott didn't receive my letter (scroll down to see) or he just didn't give a damn b/c the hornets were damn sure playing to win. the starters played full minutes and gave strong performances including 20 pts 10 ast from cp3 and 16 points off the bench from bonzi wells. for the mavs it was all kidd all the time. with dirk struggling from the field for most of the night (4-16 from the field), j-kidd took over with his first triple-double this year as a mav. he goes 5-8 from behind the arc, finishing with 27-10-10. two mavs who continue to show up when needed are brandon bass (13 and 12) and jason terry (30 pts). if these guys can continue to take the pressure off of dirk, the hornets might be in trouble. more on this 1st round playoff series tomorrow.

"i didn't know you could shoot like that little buddy"

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

they went black...i just hope they don't go back

not only did the stars get the shit kicked out of them by the ducks last night, but they attempted to pull off what has become possibly the lamest bit in sports...the "[insert color] out." in the stars case they decided to go "black out." the problems with this are many. a) its so contrived and manufactured that it always loses its luster before it even begins. local news, local radio, websites, newspapers, etc all telling you what color shirt you have to wear to a game. gay. b) marty turco said before the gave even began that he was not happy about it...said it would be tough to pick up the puck. is he full of shit?? maybe...but after allowing 2 goals in the first 2 games, he allowed 4 goals on just 15 shots. why not have a "green out?" or even better, a "white out" as this seems to be the coolest of all of the "[insert color] outs" (more on this later). and finally, c) the average dallas sports fan, especially at the american airlines center, is a douche bag. they dress for games like they're going to the club to impress someone. so unless black fit in with their pimp ass outfit they had planned for that night, they ain't wearing it. bottom line...hopefully we can agree to bail on the whole "black out" thing for game 4. a couple pics from last night's attempt here and here.

in any event, this got me thinking about the whole "[insert color] out" phenomenon. where did it start?? who has actually pulled it off and how well?? who gives a shit?? well i can tell you right now that i don't give a shit. i own a total of one bama hat, one bama shirt (purchased in 1997), one rangers hat, no saints gear, no mavs gear, no stars gear. i dress for sporting events just like any other day...what is clean? and what is suitable given the weather conditions? is it crimson?? is it orange?? is it blue?? who fucking cares??

the first "[insert color] out" i remember hearing about was from the fanbase most likely to do anything that would make them look more like a cult. that's right...the aggies. they're big on the "maroon out." i'm pretty sure they even come up with a new t shirt for it every year. aggie readers you'll have to help me out with this, but i think i have a picture of the 2007 version here. although the aggies are experts at "herd mentality," the maroon just doesn't pop like some colors do. for true pop, you can't get much better than the "orange crush" fans at illinois. but i think the first really good "[insert color] out" i remember was the miami heat against the mavs in the nba finals 2 years ago. they pulled off a pretty damn good "white out." even so, its not even the best "white out" i've ever seen. that title belongs to penn state. they pulled off what i believe to be the best "[insert color] out" of any kind. check it out here and here. the sec is not immune to this bullshit either. uga pulled off what may be the best "black out" i've ever seen (indluding their black jerseys) last year. lsu tossed around the idea for a "gold out" for some game last year, though i don't think it ever really caught on. to my knowledge bama has never attempted to jump on this bandwagon, though feel free to correct me as i'm not positive about this.

in summary, no matter how cool some of them look, i still say this is gay. wear whatever the hell you want to wear when attending a sporting event...unless you're an adult in a jersey...then you're an asshole...but that's an entirely different post.

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a letter to byron scott

dear mr. scott,

how ya doin'?? congrats on a fine season. that's a new franchise record for victories you've got there...none to shabby. if i had a vote for coach of the year (which i don't) it would go to you...not to mention my vote for handsomest coach of the year (don't have a vote for that either). i still remember how well you pulled off the "nut cutters" look back in your days with the lake-show too (see pic above). nice work. you know, given the fact that you've already set the franchise record for wins, and the fact that you're locked into the 2nd seed in the western conference, i was wondering if i could ask a favor...do you think you could take a dive against the mavs tonight?? c'mon man. your boy cp3 could really use a night off. you see, if the mavs lose, and the nuggets beat the grizzlies (which is going to happen), the mavs slide into the 8th seed. if the mavs slide into the 8th seed, they play kobe and the lake-show in the first round. if the mavs play kobe and the lake-show in the first round, they will get annihilated. however, if you let the mavs get the w, the mavs get to play you and your boys in the first round, and i think the mavs have a shot against you and your boys. just thought i'd ask...you being so awesome and everything. oh well, guess i'll see you and your decision tonight on tv.

sincerely,

gerry dorsey...and mark cuban...aaaand avery johnson...aaaaaaaand mavs nation

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

kickin' it old school

due to a cold trying to take over my body (that i'm fighting like hell) and work obligations, i'm a little out of the loop and a little out of sorts today. so i thought i'd drop a quick post in regards to something i've enjoyed seeing in the last few weeks...retro baseball unis. as far as i'm concerned, no sport can pull off retro like baseball. if only we could get the padres to bring back the early 80's brown and yellows. here are the new retros (if that makes sense) to keep an eye out for.

waaaay old school...like early 1900's

i'm just praying they have the powder blue pants in their repertoire as well

paul molitor...is that you??

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Monday, April 14, 2008

convenience store = tigah bait!!!

some of my friends, who unfortunately are also lsu fans, like to point out all the places they see lsu gear. "oh look, an lsu shirt at a cubs game...oh look an lsu shirt in fucking baghdad." to this, i say two things: 1) your teams gear stands out like a sore thumb. a bama fan can where a crimson/white shirt, or an uga fan can wear a red/black/white shirt and pretty well mix in with the general population, but if you are wearing a bright ass purple/yellow shirt, you are going to stick out from those around you. 2) right now lsu is the bandwagon team in terms of merchandising. somewhere in utah there is some asshole wearing lsu gear telling his friends about how he's been an lsu fan his entire life b/c his mom's brother's sister's cousin was born in louisiana...meanwhile he bought said gear on january 8, 2008. the point i'm making, is when you're on top, you get a lot of douche bags representing your squad. case in point...

At approximately 3:00 a.m., last Thursday, an unknown subject entered the GMart Shell Station at 6960 Theodore Dawes Road, brandished a handgun and demanded money from the clerk. After the subject obtained an undetermined amount of cash, he fled the scene on foot towards Sperry Road.

The subject is described as a white male in his mid 30’s, approximately 6’1’’ weighing 180 pounds, and was last seen wearing khaki cargo shorts and a purple Louisiana State University sweatshirt.
i've got a crisp, new $100 bill that says jimmy dix was outside with the engine running.

HT: deep south sports

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free south africa ya dumb son of a bitch!!!

although i am a fan of golf, i'm not stupid enough to think that it generally qualifies as quality blog content. however, i can guarantee you there are two ways to earn a golf post on rico, and trevor immelman fulfilled both yesterday.

1) get yourself a sexy south african wife
2) throw up the double biceps after winning the masters
congrats trevor immelman...you've reached the top the question is...now what will you do with it??

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Friday, April 11, 2008

no i haven't forgotten...i just don't care

its time once again for yet another rite of spring, the a-day game. now this may surprise some of you, but this bama fan thinks that not much is more overrated in this world than spring games. i mean, who gives a shit?? its just another practice. not to mention, for every good thing that happens, that also means something shitty has just happened. what do i mean?? let's say jpw goes 16/20 for 260 yards and 3 td's. kick ass right?? well what does that say about bama's secondary?? on the flip side, what if jpw gets sacked 6 times?? is the d-line awesome or does the o-line suck?? who can say?? i say just call me when fall practice starts. however, for those of you interested in finding out more about this glorified practice, rolltide.com has all the info you need.

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dallas sports orgy

yesterday dallas sports fans got something that not many fans get in their entire lives...mainly b/c its damn near impossible. dallas fans got 4 victories from their professional sports teams, each of which carried a certain amount of extra significance.

dirk continued to whip ass dropping 32 on the jazz as the mavs locked up a playoff spot...something i wasn't sure was possible about 2 weeks ago.

the stars tooks a huge first step towards removing the 1st round monkey from their back by beating down the ducks in game one of their series.

the rangers get their first home win of the season in game 1 of a doubleheader.

in game 2, the rangers break .500 for the first time in the ron washington era and cj wilson gets his 2nd save of the day.
soak it up dallas sports fans, b/c if i know these teams (and i do), disappointment is right around the corner.

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

a golf post and a hockey post on the same day

tonight the stars will try to reverse a disturbing trend of first round exits in the nhl playoffs. they come in as the 5 seed, so they will start the series at 4 seed anaheim. they took the regular season series 5-3, but these two teams are going in different directions. the ducks come into the postseason winning 5 of its last 6, while the stars struggled down the stretch after shooting up to the number 2 seed in early march. making things tougher, the stars will likely be without one of their most crucial players in defenseman sergei zubov. this makes the stars very young and very thin on defense. either way, i love me some nhl playoffs. 100% unshaved violence and aggression.
prediction: stars in 7 (homer pick alert!!)

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quick hits: hello elin edition

-bama hoops-the ss gottfriend continues to take on water. as expected, richard hendrix declared for the nba draft, but will not hire an agent, a couple weeks ago. however, in a shocking move, ronald steele has also made himself available for the draft, but also will not hire an agent. no way he's not back. in other bama basketball ridiculousness, rico pickett and justin tubbs have both been granted permission to transer. pickett has seemingly been a pain in the ass ever since his arrival and i don't think the tide will miss either of these guys other than from a sheer numbers standpoint.

-lsu basketball-in another fairly shocking move, lsu's anthony randolph has declared for the draft and appears to be deadset on not returning. this guy is a solid player, but i'm not sure he's as good as he thinks he is. also, lsu appears ready to steal stanford coach trent johnson. i'm torn on how i feel about this hire. i think the guy is a pretty good coach, but i'm not sure how much he ever accomplished without the lopez twins. i guess there will be plenty of opportunities to recruit studs to baton rouge. bottom line: i miss john brady.

-draft list-feel free to take a look at everyone who has or hasn't declared for the nba draft, but stupid and otherwise, here.

-attmpted murder-bethune cookman backup qb brandon wright has been charged with a number of crimes including attempted murder and cocaine trafficking. i highly recommend reading this article to get all of the insane details, such as:

At some point during the afternoon, Wright walked outside to his vehicle and returned with a shotgun, which he used to pummel O'Connor, police said. He then dragged O'Connor into the bathroom and bound his feet and hands to a toilet with duct tape, police said.
-and finally, let the elin watching commence.

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a tradition unlike any other

do you like golf?? i love me some golf. more specifically i love me some majors. and no major gets my golf wienie wigglin' like the masters. it just symbolizes a certain feeling and time of year to me...kind of like that first tailgate of the fall. it means that baseball is here. it means that the college world series is right around the corner. and it means pool/lake season is also not very far off. not to mention it takes place on one of the most beautiful plots of land in this great country of ours. it really makes me wish i had hdtv...which i do not. this year is especially juicy in that one eldrick woods is possibly playing the best golf of his career. so much so that people are apparently just giving him the green jacket and have moved on to speculating whether or not he can win the grand slam. these people are assinine. can you at least wait for him to win one before you talk grand slam?? that being said, i will take tiger vs. the field against anyone who wants some of that action (with odds). i can't wait to sit my fat ass on the couch and watch them come down the back nine on sunday afternoon.

get ready to see this again on sunday

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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

one final shining moment

one final analysis of memphis' performance down the stretch against kansas

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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

tuesday you tube fun

i've had an influx of you tubeage that has caught my attention over the last week or so. so watch and enjoy.

-patrick ewing jr. throws down a dunk more impressive than anything i've seen in a long time by anyone not named dwight howard.


-michael mcdowell fakes his own death while qualifying at the texas motor speedway last week. it was made more dramatic for me as i was listening to 1310 the ticket broadcast live from the track when it happened.

-and for the grand finale, ric flair (WHOOOOOOO!!) introducing the hornets (WHOOOOOOO!!) before sunday's game vs. the warriors. (WHOOOOOOO!!) the sound is brutal, but it more than serves its purpose.

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rock, chalk, jayhawk

congratulations kansas jayhawks, you are the '07-'08 national champions. HOWEVA!! (steven a. smith voice) that game was lost by memphis, not won by kansas. memphis went 7 of 16 from the free throw line in the second half, including a devastating 1 of 5 in crunch time. if you make just one more, not only do you win the game, you never even see overtime. even with the shitty free throw shooting, they had every oppotunity to win they game. poor shot selection and missed layups/putbacks late in the game also contributed. but the true choke job was not fouling the jayhawks and allowing them to get the three pointer off to tie the game. if you're up by three points with 10 seconds left there is no reason you should lose the game. with all that being said, i have no sympathy for a team who cannot accomplish these fundamental tasks with the biggest game of their life on the line. so again, congrats to the jayhawks. i've always dug bill self from the time he was at tulsa, and its about time kansas cashed in on all of the regular season success they've had in the last 15-20 years. rock, chalk.




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Monday, April 7, 2008

hi i'm gerry...i don't believe we've met

is it possible that dirk's ankle injury and missed games BENEFITED the mavs?? they have looked completely different since his return. dirk is playing as well as he ever has including going for 32 and 12 yesterday. and after stepping up in dirk's absence, josh howard has continued to put up crucial points (in spite of shitty shooting). keeping it all working, after a shitty start in dallas, is jason kidd. this team is running the floor as well as i've ever seen them...and this from a franchise who was the suns before the suns were the suns...and jason kidd is at the controls. the mavs benifited greatly from a big performance from brandon bass (19 pts) and the suns going stone cold in the 4th quarter getting outscored 27-9. however, as a side note, amare stoudemire always has and continues to own the mavs (31 pts).

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women's basketball is gay...as if you didn't know

don't worry this post ends with my pick for tonight's final, but i have to get my hatred for women's basketball off of my chest. here are some reasons women's basketball is gay...as if you didn't know.

-lack of strength-anytime they take a shot from outside of 15ft, they have to shoot from their shoulder. men can shoot it with a flick of their wrist from anything inside 25ft, women have to jump, bend their elbow, and then shot put the ball...not unlike my 13 year old nephews.

-no dunking...not unlike my 13 year old nephews-this really just sums up the ridiculous drop in athleticism between the men's and women's game.

-people who act like they give a shit-don't get me wrong, women's basketball has some true fans...they are called douche bags. i'm talking about the people who suddenly come out of the woodwork when their school is suddenly on the brink of a title. yes i'm talking to you lsu fan. i'm at the stripperless bachelor party weekend before last, and i'm channel surfing, and i pass by the lsu women's elite 8 (?) game. one or two lsu fans in the room tells me to "go back" b/c they want to watch it. i tell them to "fuck off, and they can watch it when the pry the remote from my cold dead hand." bama could shut down every women's sport tomorrow and i wouldn't even bat an eye.

-the final score of last nights final four game was 47-46-enough said.

-espn-they try to cram this shit down my throat b/c they were dumb enough to invest in it. i spent 15 minutes last night hitting the "last" button on my remote waiting for the tennessee/lsu game to end so i could watch sportscenter. then, when the game mercifully ends, what does sportscenter lead with?? women's fucking basketball!!! i turned the tv off and went to bed.

-the wnba-how can you take a sport seriously when the pinnacle of said sport is the wnba. not only is this league on par with arena football and minor league baseball (two VERY secondary sports), but the league would have been demolished years ago if it didn't have the letters n-b-a in it.

-ugly ass courts-this one just got added last night. did you see this thing?? i'm pretty sure the men weren't playing on a court with two giant peaches on it when they played their final four in atlanta last year.


so now, on to the men. i've already expressed my shock in regards to the ass whippings on saturday night. my bracket was also officially shattered as i had ucla beating unc in the final. oh well. both of these teams are hot, but i just think memphis has shown me a little more in this tournament. it should be fast, furious, and damn fun to watch, but i'm going with memphis.

8:21pm cst
1 kansas
1 memphis

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Sunday, April 6, 2008

final four in pics

well color me shocked. i had a feeling about memphis, but i sure as hell didn't think they'd whip ucla's ass so bad. as for kansas, that was unbelievable. the way unc had looked in this tourney, i thought they were at least a lock to play in the finals. that game was over before i even got comfortable on my couch. yeah unc made it a little interesting, but i never had a feeling they were truly ready to take the game back. i don't know what the hell to think about the championship tomorrow night. two smokin' hot teams...who can stay hot??




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