Thursday, December 25, 2008

merry freakin' christmas

your boy gerry and the 69 boyz wish a safe and merry christmas to you and yours.

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

bowl picks: day quatro


sheraton hawaii
hawaii vs notre dame honolulu
aloha stadium 7pm espn
the pick: notre dame -2
por que?: b/c the sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then...in other words simple odds tell me they can't possibly lose too many more bowl games in a row

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Monday, December 22, 2008

bowl picks: day tres


san diego county credit union poinsettia bowl
boise state vs tcu @ san diego
qualcomm stadium 7pm cst espn
the pick: tcu -3
por que?: tcu's only losses are to oklahoma @ oklahoma and byu @ byu. these boys are solid. boise hasn't played anyone like them all year.

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Sunday, December 21, 2008

a coupla misers

a high of 70 yesterday...and a low of 20 tonight...gotta be the work of the misers. this one is a classic in my family.

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

bowl picks: day dos


r+l carriers new orleans bowl
southern miss vs. troy @ new orleans (how ironic)
superdome 7:15pm cst espn
the pick: troy -4
por que?: troy has lost 4 games, and 3 of them were to teams from bcs conferences. both teams can light up the scoreboard, but the trojans hold off the golden eagles.

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Friday, December 19, 2008

go east young man

as you read this i am on the road driving from dallas to tuscaloosa for the holidays. i'll be doing some hit and miss posting while i'm there. lord knows i'll have some free time. as you can tell from this morning i'll be doing my bowl picks at the very least, and i'll also be throwing in some other relevant stuff. things to look for this weekend...obviously bowl games, the nfl playoff picture taking shape, and on a local interest level, the final game in texas stadium. for those of you who have never been to texas stadium, it is easily the biggest dump in the nfl. having said that there is a tremendous amount of history there. i was personally in the house the day that emmitt broke the all time rushing record. i was also there 2 years ago when the saints put a beatdown on that ass. yet another reason texas stadium holds a special place in my heart is b/c it was my place of employment for the better part of my first two years out of college. despite that, i say implode that freakin' eye sore. in the meantime, i'm on the road... 8+ hours, 600 miles, and a 90 lb german shepherd. for that reason i give you some kick ass driving music. the late, great jerry reed with "east bound and down," b/c that's what i'll be doing, except with logan...not fred.

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bowl picks: day uno

i'll be doing all my bowl picks the day before so as to give you time to call your bookie since you're going to take my picks as the word of god. actually its b/c some of these games kick off ridiculously early and i don't feel like having to deal with that. enjoy...and bring on the ball busting.

(all times central)


eaglebank bowl
wake forest vs. navy @ washington dc
rfk stadium 10am espn
the pick: navy +3
por que?: this game is actually a rematch from earlier this year, with navy winning the first meeting...i think they complete the sweep.


new mexico bowl
colorado state vs. fresno state @ albuquerque
university stadium 1:30pm espn
the pick: fresno -3
por que?: both of these teams suck and lost to pretty much any decent team they've played. give me pat hill's mustache...anybody, anytime, anywhere.


magicjack st. petersburg bowl
memphis vs. south florida @ st. petersburg, fl (what a coincidence)
tropicana field 3:30pm espn2
the pick: memphis +13
por que?: despite it basically being a home game for the bulls, these two teams are going in different directions. memphis got better as the season went on, and the bulls got worse. the bulls win, but don't cover.


pioneer las vegas bowl
byu vs. arizona @ las vegas (what do ya know??)
sam boyd stadium 7pm espn
the pick: byu +3
por que?: because the mountain west owns the pac 10.

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Thursday, December 18, 2008

aaaahhhh who am i trying to kid??

between computer issues, work issues, and preparing for the christmas road trip tomorrow, i ain't got time for postin'. HOWEVA!! (steven a. smith voice) rest assured i will be back tomorrow with my first bowl picks of the season, which if last bowl season is any indication means big bucks for you if you simply do the exact opposite of what i tell you to do...except now that i said that you should probably listen to me. aaaahh fuck it. tune in tomorrow for that. for today, rock your balls off christmas style.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

free of porn viruses once again

the laptop is fixed, and hopefully so is my photobucket bandwith. no time to put anything together today, so we'll pick it back up tomorrow with some bowl talk before they get going this weekend. until then, gratuituous boobes.

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santa claus is a black man

the laptop is still in the hospital. hopefully it will get discharged this afternoon. in the meantime, a little something to get you into the spirit of things.

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

quick hits: what the fook are they doing edition

ed note: this post was supposed to go up yesterday afternoon, but guess what...the laptop crapped out again. so who the hell knows when i'll get to post again.

-the heisman trophy is quickly going the way of the bcs, and that is to say irrelevance due to idiocy. as you all know, sam bradford won the heisman saturday night, but to me, that's not news. the closer it got, the more obvious it became that the trophy was bradford's. and let me go ahead and say that all 3 of these guys were very deserving, and i really don't have a horse in this race. however what gets me is the way it was decided. in the end, it was an extremely close vote (you can view the totals here), but the part that gets me is the voters themselves. its a fucking crock. so many agendas and so many half asses, that its ruining the whole thing. take a look at some of the ballots here. from guys only voting for one candidate (meaning the other two get zero points), to guys voting for various slapdicks that you know have no business being on the ballot (max hall or rashad johnson anyone??). so ridiculous. after sifting through all the bullshit it results in the guy who gets the most first place votes finishing third overall. yeah, that makes a pantload of sense. and then, the icing on the cake, was billy sims whipping his weiner out and peeing on everyone's otherwise respectable party.


-monte kiffin is leaving the bucs to join son's staff at tennessee. have you noticed that noone is making a very big deal out of this?? i don't really think its a big deal either. sure its a flashy name, but i don't know that equals badass defense. first of all i don't see monte being successful immediately simply b/c of the differences in coaching pro athletes vs. college athletes. and secondly, by the time his scheme comes around to working, his old ass will be retiring. hell, i was more afraid of chavis than this hire.

-is muncie, indiana the worst place on earth or what?? i know it would have to be for me to leave a 12-1 ball state program to go to a 2-10 san diego state team. and that's exactly what brady hoke did. if you're going to leave a kick ass mac program for a struggling program in another conference, isn't it at least supposed to be a bcs conference?? call me crazy.

-and in a final local intrest story, sean avery will neva eva eva eva eva...EVA...play hockey for the stars again. lest you think it was just b/c of his "sloppy seconds" comment, his teammates had grown tired of his bullshit long before that and this incident simply gave them an out. this all comes just 23 games into a four-year, $15.5 million guaranteed contract. if they're paying you that kind of coin to just stay away, they really fucking hate you. in any event, it once again gives me an excuse to post a pic of one of his ex girlfriends.

that's racktastic!

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Monday, December 15, 2008

really auburn?? really?!?

as i'm sure all who are interested already know, auburn has saved iowa state the trouble of firing hired gene chizik as the coach to replace tommy tuberville. i'm blown away by this. as a rival fan i almost can't even truly enjoy this b/c i'm having trouble even wrapping my brain around it. its a complete bed wetting. i didn't think they had interviewed anyone very impressive (turner gill, gary patterson, todd graham, etc), but at least these guys had sizable potential upsides. am i to believe chizik is suddenly going to figure out how to recruit and win in the sec after COMPLETELY failing at both in the big 12?? i personally hope iowa state now hires turner gill and he goes up there and makes a respectable program out of them while gene chizik does what he's no doubt going to do in auburn. the auburn fanbase is understandably beside themselves, and there is a nice little summary of their feelings over at roll bama roll. i think the video of jay jacobs returning from hiring chizik pretty well sums up the entire situation on the plains right now as well. weren't auburn fans making fun of bama fans worshipping saban when he arrived in tuscaloosa?? how's that look now??

auburn can't even get this right

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Friday, December 12, 2008

college footall withdrawals: weekend 1

well here we go. that annual lull between the regular season and bowl season. sure you've got the heisman trophy presentation this weekend, and i'm probably going to tune in, but who really gives a shit?? and given that they played last night i don't even have the saints to fall back on. so what to do?? well so far this holiday season i've managed to avoid all christmas parties. i've responded "no" to many an evite, and even turned down the invite to the company party (last year was open bar...this year is cash bar?? kiss my ass)...but that streak ends tomorrow night. at least i managed to avoid the shindig the girlfriend is attending tonight at one of dallas' douchier bars...and that's saying something. with a little luck i'll at least be able to avoid all areas of commerce which the girlfriend is trying to drag me too. a christmas time trip to the mall will end in a fight everytime b/c i just go insane being around that amount of "public" (see idiots). given all the stress this time of year causes between annoying parties, ridiculous trips to the mall, and the assinine amount of money i'll spend...this time of year is brought to you by the godsmack (who i can't believe has never been featured on here) song "stress." unfortunately it sounds like shit, but its the best i could find, so turn it up and rock out anyway.

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quick hits: peace out edition

-peace out saints playoff hopes - it was pretty much over when da bears took the opening kickoff to the house...and it wasn't even devin hester. at least i won't have to stress out over this ridiculously inconsistent team over the next 2 weeks.


-peace out saints oc doug marrone - it appears that marrone will be the next coach at syracuse. good luck with all that.

-peace out cowboys playoff hopes - this should be "peace out t.o." but not only does it not make sense salary cap wise, but i'm sure jerry thinks he can fix this situation. have you ever seen a 4 year old lay on the floor in walmart and kick and scream until he either gets his way or gets his ass busted?? that's t.o.

i thought you had tony's back??

-peace out andre smith - bama tackle andre smith took home the outland trophy last night as the country's best lineman. andre was going to go pro anyway, but this is some pretty sweet icing on the cake.

-and finally, peace out to your girlfriend/wife - if that's something you want to say this holiday season, just give her this cookbook for christmas. possible downside?? she accepts it and actually tries to use it. recipe #1: "the salty lollipop." HT: gordon keith

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

my name is gumby dammit!!

this is one of the most graphic things i've ever witnessed before. so if you can't handle shit like that, please click here...if you can...click play. you can read the story here. (let me know if the video gets taken down as i think it may)

EDIT: as expected, the video is gone. i haven't been able find another one yet, but i'll keep trying. until then...enjoy the still shot. EDIT #2: i jacked an animated gif of it from deadspin. its after the jump too.


a gruesome, borderline unbelievable still shot of the carnage after the jump.



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quick hits: snowin' in new orleans style

on a day when the new orleans area is getting the very rare december snow, let's talk some new orleans sports.


-the saints continue to try to at least stay mathmatically alive in the playoff race tonight in chicago on the nfl network...which i don't get. as mentioned, the weather in chicago isn't much different from new orleans today. if the saints want to make the playoffs tonight is a must win. with a win tonight in chicago, and an obviously winnable game vs. detroit next week, that would only leave carolina in the final week to get to 10 wins. however even with 10 wins, the saints may be on the outside looking in. a confusing look at the tiebreakers here. speaking of the saints and panthers, the nfc south is the best division in the nfl. i live in nfc east country, and that is the popular pick, but i think if you look closely, especially as the season closes out, i think the nfc south rises to the top.

-one player on the bears this blog has been following closely all year is slidell high alum (just like gerry) matt forte. to say forte is having a successful rookie year would be an understatement...its historical. with three games remaining, he has become only the seventh nfl rookie to surpass 1,000 rushing yards and 50 receptions. the other names on that list?? merely ladainian tomlinson, marshall faulk, edgerrin james, eric dickerson, billy sims and joe cribbs. he also broke the franchise record for total yards from scrimmage last week. the previous record holder?? gale freakin' sayers. through all of that, he has fumbled once in 322 touches. that's only the most touches in nfl history for a rookie with one fumble or less. how ya like that??

i've always dug the bears' unis

-i don't know if you've heard, but chris paul is pretty damn good. he's merely averaging roughly 20 points, 12 assists, 5.5 rebounds and 3 steals a game. now that's filling a box score. since we're getting all historical today, cp3 had 2 steals last night, giving him a steal in 102 straight games. the all time record is 105 games by alvin robertson. pretty damn impressive. and he did it all while rockin' the new orleans bucaneers throwbacks last night (see below). also, probably even more impressive, check this out.
Chris Paul had 15 points and 15 assists with perfect shooting from both the floor (5-for-5, including a three-pointer) and the free-throw line (4-for-4) in the Hornets' win over the Bobcats. It was the second time in Paul's career that he had at least 15 points and 15 assists in a game without missing a shot from either the floor or the line. (He did it last season on Jan. 11 against Miami.) In NBA history, only two other players have ever had such a game, each doing it once: Jeff Hornacek for Phoenix (Feb. 25, 1988) and Steve Nash, also for the Suns (April 3, 2007).

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

dan mullen has a fevah!!!

and the only cure...is a little starkville cowbell. sorry i'm late...i actually had to do some work this afternoon. however, the bulldogs have in fact hired the gators oc as their new head coach. i for one think this is an amazing hire, despite the fact that as of this morning i could not have picked dan mullen out of a two person linup. mullen obviously has a pretty damn solid offensive mind and seems to be a guy who adjusts to the talent he has. their is some defensive in starkville, so if he can bring someone in to run that side of the ball, lookout. as my sister's alum, i've always had a soft spot for the bulldogs, and always wish them all the success in the world every week they're not playing bama. auburn could take a lesson from state on how to run a coaching search. play things close to the vest and then make a very solid hire. for you auburn fans who agree that auburn is not exactly doing the best job running their search, you're in luck. somebody has started firejayjacobs.com. have fun with all that.

any thoughts??

guess which one is dan mullen

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a moment of silence please...

...for the arena football league, who is expected to cancel the 2009 (their 23rd) season. technically the plan is to "suspend" the 2009 season, and to "start up again in 2010." i think we can all agree that if they suspend the season they are toast. i probably have a closer relationship with the arena football league than most. as a youngster the last dragon and i went to a few new orleans night games. all i really remember about those games was the fact that the team came out to ac/dc's thunderstruck (they also referred to the superdome as "the thunderdome"), and their hideous zubaz unis. they sucked, but we had fun. also as a young man fresh out of college i was employed by the parent company of the afl team known as the dallas desperados. that meant i was tasked with the job of selling tickets to the nut filled turd that arena football is. it also means that i've attended my fair share of dallas desperado games and even befriended a few of the players. all in all i actually felt the afl had a place in this world. was it the nfl?? no. was it worth buying season tickets to?? hell no. however if you had kids, it was something cool to bring them to once a season or so. there was always lots of action going on in addition to the football such as music, videos, pyrotechnics, and half nekkid dancers. so although you haven't officially keeled over yet, you are about to have your plug pulled, so rest in peace arena football. we never thought you'd live this long.

EDIT (10/11):it now appears they are going to attempt to stumble through the 2009 season. this basically just means they are still on life support, they're just not pulling the plug...yet. i'll put the head stone engravers on notice, just in case we have to change that "2008" to a "2009."

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proving how smart/stupid i am: preseason top 25 edition

as many of you know, like any half assed blogger, i put together a preseason top 25. parts of it look good, parts of it look retarded, but know this, its not any worse than people who get paid a lot of money to do this very same thing. we may revisit this again after the bowl season, but nobody really cares about the rankings after the bowls, just who is #1. for the record, i used the bcs rankings as those are the only ones that matter this time of year anyway.


my preseason notes:
-i just have a feeling about florida...stong at qb, better on defense.
-i love me some sam bradford and oklahoma
-ohio state will be all up in it once again being head and shoulders above a shitty big 10
-have you seen mizzou's schedule?? not much to talk about other than @ texas.
-clemson has a lot of talent and a weak schedule. hell bama may be the best team the play all year in week 1.
-i just don't fully trust usc's qb position just yet
-i don't really think wvu is all that great, but pat white and noel devine are...and the big east isn't
-i know i'll catch hell about lsu, but i'm going to try to give an unbiased assessment. they lost 2 games last year, they have questions at qb, they lost key players on defense, and have a new defensive coordinator. i don't think 3 if not 4 losses is out of the question.
-texas tech may be better, but they will still lose to the 'horns and sooners of the world
-south florida will also benefit from weak big east
-kansas has a much tougher schedule than last year, not to mention the difficulty of duplicating that kind of magic
-if other polls can rank bama, than i damn sure can. 8 wins is a stretch, but not impossible, and that gets them into the top 25.

thoughts and analysis after the jump...

hits and misses:
-how about that #1 and #2??
-i managed to get va tech and byu exactly right. weird.
-i was pretty much dead on about lsu, i just didn't give them enough losses.
-my logic was sound on ohio state, i just didn't account for penn state.
-little did i know how right i was about bama being the best team on clemson's schedule, i just didn't know they'd suck so hard.
-i feel i gave a fairly assessment of texas tech
-so happy to be so wrong about bama
-teams i ranked waaaaaaaay too high: missouri, clemson, west virginia, auburn, wisconsin, arizona state, tennessee, and south florida
-teams i ranked waaaaaaaay too low (or not at all): utah, boise, tcu, cincinnati, okie state, georgia tech, michigan state, and of course bama

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

quick hits: even with no games, the sec is wacky

-the 2008 all sec team is released. not surprisingly both the first and second teams are littered with bama players. a nice little crotch punch to tigah fans is lsu placing 8 players on the first and second team. individual awards are as expected:

offensive poy - tim tebow
defensive poy - eric berry
coach of the year - nick saban
freshman of the year - julio jones


-tuberville's mommy says he did not resign, he was fired. first of all, for the clowns at auburn to imply that he resigned, while paying him his $5.1 million, insults my intelligence. so fuck you for that. now we get to ponder the fact that a reporter tracked down tuberville's mommy for this info. who you gonna believe?? i bet it ain't the boys at auburn.

-its good to be phil fulmer. phat phil has accepted a bullshit position within the university of tennessee. multiple strings attached. a) this position is only effective from december 1 through february 28. so apparently phil decided he wasn't interested in coaching immediately, so he took this job. b) they are paying him $12500 a month to put his feet up on the desk, which wouldn't be a huge deal if they weren't paying him $6 million over 4 years to go the hell away. amazing.

-so who is going to take the job at mississippi state?? state appears to be playing it pretty close to the vest, but two apparent candidates are south carolina's dc ellis johnson and florida's oc dan mullen. i personally think mullen would be a pretty big score for state. as a person pulling for the overall well being of the sec, i hope they get him.

-speaking of coaching searches, what's going on over at auburn?? names i've heard tossed around include leach, jimbo fisher, houston nutt, and paul johnson, all of which have expressed various reasons as to why they WON'T be the next head coach at auburn. auburn ad jay jacobs gave auburn nation a collective heart attack as they interviewed two former auburn players ill equipped to become head coaches in miami oc patrick nix and uga assistant rodney garner. they appear to have also interviewed la tech head coach derek dooley yesterday. with each passing day, buffalo head coach turner gill appears to be gaining more and more momentum. obviously one of these guys may turn out to be great, but at this point they could hire every one of those guys for the same staff and it wouldn't bother me.

no wait! come back!! HT: tiger droppings

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uncle rico's officially unofficial heisman ballot

this season's heisman race is shaping up kinda like the big 12 south...multiple qualified candidates, but nobody really separated themselves and took it over. my vote doesn't count for shit, and i think this is one of the most overrated awards in sports, but its all the college football we've got this weekend, so here we go. my top 3 with stats, explanation, and a signature youtube moment for each.

1. colt mccoy - season: 291-of-375 passing, 3,445 yards, 32 td's, 7 int's; 128 rushes, 576 yards, 10 td's
-dude...he completed 78% of his passes...78%!! hell i'm sure if you took away drops it'd be like 82%. as a qb, he led his team in rushing by 200 yards. and he did it all in the toughest division in college football. something that has been ringing in my head since i read it a few weeks ago, and i think sums up mccoy's season, is that he has "out tebowed" tim tebow this year. not that i needed a tie breaker, but if i did i would just go back to the red river shootout where colt beat bradford head to head. i mean that game should count for something right??


2. sam bradford - season: 302-of-442 passing, 4,464 yards, 48 td's, 6 int's; 40 rushes, 65 yards, 5 td's
-make no mistake, bradford's number are unreal if not approaching historical. and 8 to 1 td to int ratio?? a passer rating of over 186?? my main reason for placing mccoy over bradford actually isn't bradford's fault at all...his supporting cast is too damn good. he has two quality running backs in the backfield with him taking the pressure of the passing game...a luxury colt doesn't have. he has a freakin' stable of wr's that rack up yards after the catch like its going out of style. and no offense to the 'horns wr corps, but they can't hang with these guys. colt gets the not for single-handedly willing the 'horns to victories.


3. tim tebow - season: 174-of-268 passing, 2,515 yards, 28 td's, 2 int's; 154 rushes, 564 yards, 12 td's
-the only thing that killed tebow from joining archie griffin as a two time winner was the fact that the gators lollygagged through the first four weeks of the season, culminating with the loss to ole miss. of course after that game tebow went all william wallace on that ass and has never looked back, but it was too little too late.


-other dudes worth mentioning: shon green - iowa, michael crabtree - texas tech, graham harrell - texas tech, dez bryant - okie state

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Monday, December 8, 2008

quick hits: really random thoughts

-saturday night's game was the most watched sec title game ever, earning the highest regular season college football rating on cbs in 19 years. although i've yet to see the numbers, i have no doubt the acc title games rating were much higher b/c those fuckers damn sure didn't go watch in person...AGAIN!!


-hey...'member that guy who got run out of gainesville for picking himself up a few items on a dead girl's credit card?? yeah well ole miss just decided to sign him. he better be really good b/c this sounds like a pr nightmare as well as being a ticking time bomb. in the interest of full disclosure it is being reported that alabama showed interest as well. i like to think it wasn't very much interest.

-can somebody tell me wtf is up with these new nfl issued george costanza gore tex jackets all these coaches are wearing?? they look freakin' ridiculous...and as with most things wade phillips makes them look EXTRA ridiculous.


-so did you hear about the locker room dingus on national tv?? (caution: link contains actual photos of locker room dingus)

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monday you tube analysis: sec championship.

where we post a youtube that has little to nothing to do with football, yet expresses our feelings regarding what happened in bama's game that week.


this is why i don't post on weekends. well its one reason...the other is i actually have a life...but that reason is emotion. if i had done this post on saturday night it probably would have been sad song. however after the better part of two days of reflection, i'm happy. i'm not going to do a single ounce of bitching, though i feel i rarely do anyway. this is a happy time for this bama fan. sure they lost on saturday, but they lost to a team with one of the hottest offenses the conference has ever seen. they lost to a player who will forever go down in the deep, rich history of the sec. i'll be telling my grandkids about this freak of nature who played qb for florida back in the beginning of the century. and they'll say "shit grandpa, you're old as fuck." and i'll say "go make me another maker's and water, ya little bastard!!" but i digress...more importantly i'm happy b/c this is the beginning of something and not the end. bama wasn't even supposed to be here. everything above 8 or 9 wins this year was pretty much gravy. in addition, while bama's star is rising, most of their rivals are slipping to some degree or another. couple that with the bama's youth, the experience that youth gained this year, and another crop of quality youth on its way, and the future is bright. in the mean time, its all about SUGA!!!!

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week in pics: championship week fool!!

wear these all the time!!

a bcs school should probably hire this guy

yet another not so impressive victory

your 4 loss acc champs

this game was pretty much all about the celebration

one of the few good licks tebow took

easier said than done boys

a picture of god's warrior lying his ass off

make the sec proud boys...i'll be pullin' for ya

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Friday, December 5, 2008

tide get ready to roll!!

the second to last good luck charm of the year. this is the first time in a while i've truly felt the tide needed a good luck charm. i'm a creature of habit and therefore it has made an appearance every single friday before a game, but they need it more now than ever. good luck charm #2?? the tide will be sporting the road whites. the previous games with the road whites?? clemson, arkansas, uga, and tennessee. total score of those games?? 153-63.

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florida weekend forecast: partly cloudy with chance of severe thundertorms

wow

well here we are kids. even with my most crimson colored glasses on i didn't anticipate this situation when the season started. i thought there might be a gnats ass of a chance bama would end up in atlanta, but i thought it would be b/c the field came back to them, not b/c bama blew right by everyone. and now they find themselves #1 and a 10 point underdog...strange. but anyway...on to saturday.

first let's look at when bama has the ball. i actually think the florida defense is a littled overrated. its really easy to pile up defensive statistics when you make your opponent abandon their gameplan and become one dimensional in the second quarter every week. they're still a pretty good defense, just not great. i think alabama will still, in large part, be able to run their offense, as long as the scoreboard allows them to. at the risk of being captain obvious, if the tide gets down big, and jpw has to win it with his arm, you can book the sugar bowl brotha. now for the part everyone wants to see...the florida offense against the tide defense. i truly don't believe percy harvin is going to play, and yes i think that's a big deal b/c the guy makes an impact in so many ways. despite all the team speed, i don't see the gators being able to run the ball with great success against the tide. sure rainey and demps are fast, but they're tiny, and their speed isn't really an issue if they don't get passed the linebackers. i fully expect tebow to be the gators leading rusher, which obviously is the task of the day for the tide defense. also falling on the shoulders of the tide defense...creating turnovers. i don't think the tide can win this game if they lose, or even break even in the turnover margin. they have to generate turnovers and turn them into touchdowns or they aren't likely to be able to keep up. all in all the tide defense must do 2 seemingly simple things: play strict assignment football, and don't miss tackles. they've done it all year and i expect them to do it again tomorrow. a couple other quick notes before i go. number one, keep your eye on special teams. both teams have playmakers on special teams, and i'd be shocked it one team or the other doesn't have a big play. number two, coach saban. i think if you give saban one team to truly focus on, he will figure them out. and i have confidence he has put together a game plan that is absolutely capable to taking down the gators. now...can the players execute it???

no matter what happens tomorrow night its been a great ride. i haven't picked the tide to lose since a september trip to georgia...but that ends today...here's hoping i'm wrong.

florida 35
bama 27


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Thursday, December 4, 2008

sec championship flashback: 1999

damn laptop is f'ed up once again. infiltrated with porn files i'm sure. in the meantime, a time killing post. my intention was to do more of these this week, but between being busy, actual sports news occuring, and a surprising lack of these on you tube, this one and the one from monday are all you're getting. this flashback has all the key elements: multiple occurances of classic "steve spurrier face," some mike dubose brainless clapping, and a freddie milons sighting from the time he was unstoppable (which only lasted about 11 minutes). as a bonus, i was in the georgia dome for this one. what a sweet, sweet night it was.

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love thine enemy: florida

between the thanksgiving festivities, a heavy workload, and having to finally admit yesterday that i'm sick, i haven't been able to put much time into the gator hunting. luckily for everyone, the gators have a insane amount of eye candy floating around out there, so it is readily available. enjoy.

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

tommy tuberville squeezed out

tommy tuberville is reportedly toasty like toast at auburn. the longer these little meetings went on, the more it seemed tubs was a goner. i personally think this is a bad idea for the aubs. obviously they could knock my socks off with tubs' replacement, but its going to be tough to match the kind of record he rolled up. note to aubbie, you may want to get someone who can recruit b/c the saban was already starting to run circles around tubs and that was in spite of long standing relationships. so who does auburn get?? where does tubby go?? what are your thoughts??

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proving how smart/stupid i am: sec standings edition

so let's go back and review uncle rico's half fast sec predictions. as with most bullshit preseason predictions, we nailed some things and completely whiffed on some things. first, the predictions:

west
alabama 8-4 (5-3)
auburn 8-4 (5-3)
lsu 9-3 (5-3)
ole miss 7-5 (3-5)
state 6-6 (3-5)
arkansas 5-7 (2-6)

east
florida 11-1 (7-1)
uga 10-2 (6-2)
tennessee 9-3 (5-3)
cocks 7-5 (4-4)
kentucky 5-7 (2-6)
vandy 4-8 (1-7)

championship game
florida over [insert sacrificial lamb from west]

-and now the actual results:

west
alabama 12-0 (8-0)
ole miss 8-4 (5-3)
lsu 7-5 (3-5)
arkansas 5-7 (2-6)
auburn 5-7 (2-6)
state 4-8 (2-6)

east
florida 11-1 (7-1)
uga 9-3 (6-2)
vandy 6-6 (4-4)
cocks 7-5 (4-4)
tennessee 5-7 (3-5)
kentucky 7-5 (2-6)

championship game
florida vs. alabama (sacraficial lamb??)

hits and misses after the jump...

-hits
-the top 2 in the east...except i didn't foresee uga getting blasted by tech.
-nailed the cocks. what can i say, they are what they are.
-arkansas...i just had no idea that record would have them ahead of 2 teams
-in the comments i predicted florida beating uga and tennessee and "taking an upset from a random lesser conference opponent"

-sort of hits
-the championship game. just how accurate this prediction was is yet to be determined.
-the lsu dropoff, though i had no idea it would be this drastic
-the rise of bama, though i had no idea it would be this drastic
-the rise of ole miss, though i had no idea it would be this drastic

-misses
-tennessee...but come on...who saw this coming??
-auburn. i thought they may be overrated based on some people's top 25, but i never saw this coming.
-the rise of vandy. i mean shit, they're going to a bowl game.
-i thought state would come back down to earth a little bit, but losing 8 games including to la tech?? come on.

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quick hits: handing out suspsensions for christmas

-before we get to suspensions, a few coaching craziness notes. although the school will not officially comment one way or another (which is fishy), but it is being reported that charlie weis will be waddling the sidelines of south bend next year. i'm sure he'll turn it around next year...this should work out just fine.

-you wanna be a cool and hip college football program?? name a coaching successor...its all the rage. oregon has named offensive coordinator chip kelly as mike bellotti's successor. as i mentioned with will muschamp, i think these succession plans are dumb, but they very well may be more successful in instances that are lower profile such as this.

-your boy plaxico's season is officially done. the giants fined and suspended burress for the remaining four games, and also placed him on the reserve non-football injury list, which means he can't come back for the playoffs. we haven't really discussed this idiocy on here yet, so let's do so very briefly. how stupid is this guy?? carrying a loaded gun around in your pants when you're in his position is the highest level of stupid anyway, but if you're going to do it, don't do it with a gun that doesn't have a safety. who are you barney fife?? also, is new york serious about their gun laws or what?? if the same thing happened here in dallas the player would get fried for being a dumbass, but i'm pretty sure the gun issue would bring little to no legal troubles.

-the nfl suspended 6 players (including 3 saints), 4 games each, for violating the league's substance abuse policy. deuce mcallister, will smith, and charles grant are the saints players, all of which obviously lost their appeal. this is pretty much a non story for me. many people, mainly saints fans, want to defend these cats based on them getting busted for an over the counter supplement that didn't list the ingredient on the label. the nfl's banned substance policy clearly states that you're responsible for any banned substance found in your body...end of story. enjoy your time off boys.

-although i really enjoy watching a good hockey game, i just don't understand the nhl sometimes. the stars' sean avery was suspended "indefinitely" yesterday for some comments he made after the stars' morning skate in calgary. avery told the assembled media that "it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds," referring to flames' defenseman dion phaneuf dating avery's ex elisha cuthbert. so in the nhl, knock someone's teeth out with your fist...a few minutes in the penalty box. tomahawk somebody with your stick...maybe suspended a few games. call someone's girlfiend "sloppy seconds"...suspended indefinitely. also the stars are very much supporting the league's decision. the last few times i've seen cuthbert she's look pretty beat up...let's remember happier times.

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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

choppin' it like its hot

this has been all over the bama blogosphere since saturday, so i thought i'd jump on the bandwagon. i'd like to start by saying i'm am not a person who supports the pussification of sports...particularly football. football is a violent sport, you know that going in. more times than not i support the defensive player being flagged for lighting up a wr or qb...within reason of course. however this chop blocking stuff is chicken shit of the highest order. now i know we all remember the glenn dorsey (my cuz) incident last year as a huge stink was made about it, but the war eagles also chopped (and injured) a clemson player in their bowl game last year. well the cheap shot artists were at it again on saturday in the iron bowl, but luckily they can't even do that right this year. keep your eye on number 96 luther davis playing nose guard on this play. the sumbitch clearly sees davis isn't looking, and dives right at his knees. frankly i'm surprised they didn't go after the weakened yet infinitly crucial knee of mt. cody.


and just for a refresher, here are the other two mentioned from last year.

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quick hits: coaching carousel picking up speed

-obviously we all know sly croom resigned over the weekend, but now what?? well croom met with his team yesterday, and his assistants are being kept on an interim basis, but obviously the new coach will have the ability to hire his own staff. speaking of new coach, who will it be?? well i get the impression their expectations are higher than they'll be able to pull.

-dabo swinney has officially had the "interim" tag removed from his title at clemson. this is a somewhat shocking move based on swinney's lack of experience and the level of coach the clemson job is capable of attracting, but given the teams success in the second half of the year, and the players literally campaigning for him, the move is understandable. i'll say this, it makes more sense than bill stewart.

-in more news you already know, lane kiffin was officially named the 21st head coach at tennessee yesterday. this hire is taking a lot of heat from anyone who doesn't think singing "rocky top" 100 times every saturday is a good idea. kiffin is rumored to be putting together a superstar staff (including his papa and coach o), but even that doesn't always equal championships...ask florida state. perhaps more important than any of this is the fact that lane kiffin immediately takes over the title of hottest wife of a coach in the sec. just think if mrs. orgeron comes to knoxville too. in a related story les miles' wife is still a dog faced gremlin.


-in news you probably don't care about, but is relevant to the conversation, mizzou assistant head coach and offensive coordinator dave christensen was hired as wyoming's new coach. good luck with all that. pinkel must really be the brains behind that operation or i would think this dude could get a better offer than wyoming. christensen will still be with tigers for the big 12 championship this weekend.

-coaches who should get their resume together just in case:
charlie weis
tommy tuberville
and anyone who has anything to do with defense at lsu

-the usual suspects will no doubt pop up as candidates for any and every opening, with all of them likely to stay where they are...again:
chris peterson, boise state
gary patterson, tcu
bronco mendenhall, byu
kyle whittingham, utah
pat hill, fresno state
bud foster, virginia tech
brent venables, oklahoma
skip holtz, east carolina
brady hoke, ball state
turner gill, buffalo
brian kelly, cincinnati

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Monday, December 1, 2008

sec championship flashback: 1992

i have a coaching carousel post i was going to put up this afternoon, but i'm just not gonna have the time. so instead, a look back. bama and florida have faced each other in 6 of the 17 (counting this year) sec championships...pretty damn impressive. florida leads that series 3-2. this week we will feature some highlights from those games, and we start today with the inaugural sec championship game in 1992. you will see some lassic, some deuce, some rhett, some matthews, the old ball coach, and of course...some clutch antonio langham. enjoy. whoooooa nelly!!!

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monday you tube analysis: auburn

where we post a youtube that has little to nothing to do with football, yet expresses our feelings regarding what happened in bama's game that week.


today's you tube analysis is brought to you by the number 1. number 1 as in the tide's bcs ranking after 12 games. the number 1 as in every streak (iron bowl) has to start with one. the number 1 as in the number of victories standing between the tide and the national championship game. i really can't believe what i'm seeing right now. this "expert" (see dipshit) was planning (see hoping) for 8 wins this year. it really is a joy to watch this team play fundamentally sound football, with very few turnovers, and very few penalties. the iron bowl went pretty much exactly as planned. run the ball down their throat, sprinkle in a few jpw throws as necessary, absolutely lockdown on defense, and embarrass those bastards if at all possible. check, check, check, and check. i thought the 4th quarter bomb executed by the second string was an especially nice touch. i'd love to continue to celebrate this victory, but if ever there was a time to institute a 24 hour rule, its this week. its gator huntin' time.

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week in pics: gettin' your rivalry on

what fading out of the big 12 championship game looks like

the nail in sly croom's coffin

that's quite a secondary lsu has put together

the acc embarrassing the sec: part 1

and part 2

quite possibly the best game i've watched all year

william wallace??

farewell rose bowl

can we please just start ignoring notre dame??

scary offense, but is their defense good enough to win it all?

i think this sums it up pretty well

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