Uncle Rico's Time Machine: January 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

it hurts to set you free

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free

yes ladies and gentlemen, this is the end of uncle rico's time machine. its been a fun ride that lasted way longer than i ever expected. what started out as a way to cut down on "reply alls" on emails between me and some buddies turned into this. and now, 18+ months, 865 posts, more than 76,000 visitors, more than 149,000 page views, and more than 2300 comments later, it ends. we've covered everything from college football, to ice hockey, to boozin', to music, to boobies (actually we talked about boobies and the women attached to them quite a bit), and most everything in between. a big thank you to all of those who contributed through posts and/or comments, as well as any and all other sites out there who ever linked to us. however, do not fret. you can rest assured that i will still be cruising the blogosphere, dropping lyrical bombs on other peoples' unsuspecting blogs. i will also be leaving the site up and functional (at least for the time being) should you want to drop some knowledge on here, i just won't be posting any new material. what did you like about uncle rico? dislike? fucking hate?? any posts and/or comment fights from the past stand out?? let me know in the comments.

your friend in all things that kick ass,

gerry dorsey

ps - i'd also like to send a very special shout out to the man who's name is the number one search term that brings people to this site (and it isn't even fucking close)...rush propst. and yes, i'm absolutely serious.

Friday, January 9, 2009

moving on

well there you have it...college football season comes to a close. granted we still have nfl playoffs over the next couple weeks, but with no saints (shocker), that just doesn't float my boat like college football season...but i am very interested. in terms of the college sports fan, its now time for college hoops, and more specifically, conference play in college hoops. the tide kicks off the conference slate by welcoming lsu to t'town on sunday. both of these teams are highly mediocre, yet they still both stand a decent chance of winning their weak ass division. hell this game could actually be a very nice gauge for who is the favorite to do just that. i'm rarely one to call for a coach's head, so i'm not doing that, but mark gottfried's life at alabama is hanging in the balance this season. no invite to the big dance and he's toast. i really like gottfried, so i will always be torn on the subject, but the program has peaked under him and its time to move on if he can't get it done this year. for the record, i don't expect him to get it done this year. either way, i'll be there every step of the way b/c i'm a glutton for punishment (please refer to the fact that i'm a saints fan).

bama basketball: sometimes a picture IS worth 1000 words

CHOMPions...get it??

the two headed monster
congratulations to the florida gators for winning their second bcs championship in 3 years. as most of you know, my sec loyalty extends to 11 of the 12 sec teams, and the gators are one of them. i couldn't help but notice a similarity in this game, and the last game the gators played against a team wearing crimson. the gators let them hang around for three quarters or so, letting the team and their fans believe there was a legit chance at victory, only for god's warrior to put the game on his back and crush their hopes and dreams in the 4th quarter. i always hate it when people start talking about "the greatest of all time" in the immediate aftermath of a sporting event, but where is god's warrior's place in cfb history?? i'm not saying he's the best, but he's pretty damn high on the list given the resume he has put together. is he coming back for even more??

ps: S-E-C...S-E-C...S-E-C...S-E-C...

Thursday, January 8, 2009

get your tickets to the brainiac convention

are you fucking kidding me espn??

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

things i've learned this bowl season

-larry fedora is putting something together at usm. he has a dual threat qb who really seemed to start to figure things out as the year went on, and he's only a freshman. fedora will continue to recruit well (for usm) and continue to put an exciting brand of football on the field. oh yeah, and deandre brown's leg is FRA-GEEL-LAY. seriously...you ever seen a leg break just by taking a step like that?? luckily he is expected by next season.

-tcu is the real deal. if they don't shit the bed @ utah, they finish with a mere one loss @ oklahoma. and oh by the way, they held the sooners to their lowest point total of the season. for reasons i can't figure out, nobody seems interested in hiring gary patterson who's senior class just finished winning 41 games in their 4 years. tcu fans thank you for your ignorance.

-notre dame actually CAN win a bowl game...and jimmy clausen is going to win the heisman next year.

-college football was a better place with pat white in it.

-no game exhibited the discrepency between the big, slow big 10 and the other bcs conferences like florida state smoking wisconsin.

-you might want to keep your eye on cal sophmore rb jahvid best. dat boy good.

-viva louisiana tech!!

-another one to keep an eye on is oregon qb jeremiah masoli. he went all tim tebow and completely embarrassed numerous members of the okie light secondary (see here
and here).

-even mississippi state v. auburn is more exciting than oregon state v. pitt.

-congrats to vandy. i can't lie, i thought the eagles were gonna roll you.

-i'm tired of hearing about how usc is the best team at the end of every season. if they didn't routinely take weeks off in september and october they'd get the chance to prove it on the field. for what its worth they were merely toying with penn state. i was like varsity v. the jv squad.

-did they play the orange bowl this year??

-fear houston nutt. fear him.

-ohio state's postseason run is approaching sad. however, i'm willing to bet terrell pryor will win a bowl game or two. he's gonna be a good one...unfortunately.

-our suspicions about the big 12 were right...they don't like defense. they don't like to play it, nor do they like to play offense against it. mizzou struggled against a very mediocre northwestern defense, oregon freakin' gashed okie light (see above), ole miss scored their highest point total of the season against texas tech, and the horns beat the buckeyes, but not without giving up a fair amount of points and yards to a so-so offense. if beanie wells doesn't get hurt, we may have a different story.

-which leads me to my thoughts on the final bowl game of the season. i think the gators will take care of business against the sooners. i think the versatile gator offense will slowly rack up points, but the difference will be the gator's ability to slow (not stop) the sooner offense.

gators 37
sooners 31

Friday, January 2, 2009

tide get ready to roll!!

soak it in kids, its the final good luck charm of the season.

insanity personified

hopefully everybody had a safe and happy new year, now enjoy your new year's day jr.

utah weekend forecast: mostly sunny with isolated showers

is that a "ute?"
look, unless bama decides to drink every single hand grenade in the french quarter, or every single starter decides to go all "agenty" like andre smith, there is no reason for bama not to whip utah's ass. they are bigger, stronger, faster, and have better coaching than utah. the aspect which you will notice this more than any other is in the trenches. the bama d-line actually weighs more (on average) than the utes o-line. you don't see that very often. and bama's o-line outweighs utah's d-line by an average of 43 freakin' pounds!! the utes are going to roll a d-lineman out there who weighs 245 lbs. terrence cody's left tit weighs 245 lbs. obviously the loss of andre will hurt, but i can't imagine it being a game changer. i also can't imagine any way the tide doesn't run the ball at will. jpw may not throw downfield all night, which is why i'm not even going to get into to mismatches at the skill positions...which are immense. with all that working against the utes, they have one major adavantage in this game...this is their super bowl. a few weeks ago the tide was 15 minutes away from a bcs championship berth, and now they have to regroup and give a shit about playing a team from the mountain west. as usual, i trust the saban to have them focused, but only time will tell.

bama 34
utah 17

get pumped up utah fan!!